(6) _Himself_.--(_a_) Before dinner: An unfortunate, overworked and
ill-used old man. (_b_) After dinner: England's hope and Sir WILLIAM
ROBERTSON'S right hand.

(7) _His Wife_.--A very lovable, but helpless, baby.

* * * * *

From an Indian teacher's report on the progress of his school:--

"A sad experience. Spirits for a time were very high. Our menials
talked of exploits and masters of glory in store. But soon the
famines set in. The treachery of the elements ravished the hopes
of agriculturists, the major portion of the supporters of the ----
school. The puffs of misery bleached white the flush of early and
latter times; dinner-hours grew few and far between; and with the
Sun of Loaf sank all wakefulness to light and culture."

This last feature sounds a little like Berlin.

* * * * *

[Illustration: RATIONAL SERVICE.

JOHN BULL. "SACRIFICE INDEED! WHY, I'M FEELING FITTER EVERY MINUTE,
AND I'VE STILL PLENTY OF WEIGHT TO SPARE."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: "HOW THIS EGG GOT PAST THE FOOD CONTROLLER I CAN'T
IMAGINE."]

* * * * *

THE THREE DICTATORS.

(_Being a tragedy of the moment and incidentally a guide to the art of
handing out correspondence to the typist._)

I.

There are, of course, as many styles of dictating letters as there
are of writing them; but three stand out. One is the Indignant
Confidential; one the Hesitant Tactful; and one the No-Nonsense
Efficient. Bitter experience in three orderly London houses only a day
or so ago chances to have led to such complete examples of each of
these styles that the reader has the felicity of acquiring at the same
time a valuable insight into business methods and a glimpse of what
Nature in the person of Jack Frost can do with even the best regulated
of cities.

We will take first the Hesitant Tactful, where the typist is not
merely considered as a human being but invited to become an ally. The
dictator is Mr. Vernon Crombie.

"Oh, Miss Carruthers, there's a letter I want to dictate and get off
by hand at once, because my house isn't fit to live in through burst
pipes. The plumbers promised to send yesterday, but didn't, and to-day
they can't come, it seems, and really it's most serious. Ceilings
being ruined, you know. The bore is that there aren't any other
plumbers that I know of, and one i