is cut off abruptly, along with the cone of light in which
the steps reeled.

* * * * *

On the street ... a narrow, formidable street, full of a palpable,
limpid night.

* * * * *

Whither goes the volatile sky pursued by the pale flock of clouds?
Whither go those grand transports which seize and overwhelm you? Here
below there is a man honest in his voice, straightforward in his look, a
brotherly man. And I have met him!

VII

For the first time I have spoken about myself to a living being. Not so
much in words or details or episodes as in the profound desire to open
up the depths of my soul and finally give a true view of it.

To talk of oneself! That enigmatic, incomplete, elusive, warm thing,
tossed by conflicting currents, adding to itself constantly, this thing
that one is. To say what it is!... To tell of it with modest lips, with
lids raised, with voice sure, with silence....

I should never have believed in the possibility of such a boon. And in
the first minutes of our being together on Sunday, I still did not know
of the possibility.

Two weeks after the Friday at the Loiseaus', I was stamping my feet with
the cold in the queue of people waiting at the little door of the
theatre to buy the two-franc seats. I happened to turn and was
mechanically studying the faces--there he stood eight or nine persons
away....

My delighted gaze rested upon him so hard that his head turned
compliantly. He saw me, his face lighted up. The crowd was interested,
the women stared with their unabashed curiosity, the men joked, but not
one of them, you may be sure, was willing to budge. Through the
interstices between the hats, our cheeks glowing with the wind, we
exchanged greetings, and I divined rather than heard that he wanted to
see me. It was at that moment that I felt as if I were flinging myself
overboard.

"Next Sunday at my house if you like?"

A strange current was carrying me away. Certain prejudices must be
deep-rooted. What was so extraordinary about receiving him in my room?
The fact that I took the initiative of inviting him seemed to be
trumpeted to the four quarters of the globe; and when his answer came
calm and natural, I couldn't continue to face him; I had to hide my
burning ears up against the old gentleman in the greatcoat, who fastened
his mocking persistent faun's gaze upon me. During the concert I felt by
turns as if I had c