ch she encompassed me because of the authority
with which marriage crowns a daughter!

There certainly was enough to frighten one. Their rejoicing smelled of
revenge. What stifling quality, I wonder, can marriage have? What
oppression, what defeats, what chains await me? Am I going to prison?

But when I turn towards _him_ and bathe my sight in the serene waters of
his eyes, I recover my assurance and soar with him again. For them, it
is clear, marriage is an irrevocable finality, a tight ring, the
oppression of that wild, free instinct which you breathe out with your
breath. To us marriage is only a word.

Throughout the dinner time stood still, each second stagnated and told
a lie. And something indefinably foul and poisonous rose from their
attitude. Sometimes I felt as if I had never quitted this hypocritical
spot and this gilded furniture. I held aloof from him in apparent
indifference, but really to save our innocent love from their profane
eyes.

They left us alone for a moment, and that moment is the one thing in the
whole evening of which I retain a clear picture although scarcely a week
has passed since then. In saying we were alone I am not quite accurate.
A law forbade that young people should be left alone together for a
single instant. My sister and her big boy of a fiance were near us; we
were not quite sure which couple had been put in custody of the other.

With arms fondly entwined about each other's waists they began to kiss
and hug. She held up her lips and uncoiled the serpent of her body
tantalizingly. When they were a little tired and their mouths blown, I
heard a panting sentence which ended with: "You will love me always?"
"Of course, always," he murmured in her ear.

I blushed. Not from offended modesty, but he and I--we had never dreamed
of such vows. They seemed silly to me. How can one swear to love forever
and say to a man: "Unto all eternity I shall be the most beautiful, the
only one in your heart"? _Always_, _forever_, words which life at every
turn refutes, how is it that a live heart would not give them the lie?

I must have looked a little haggard. My sister turning round saw that
we sat apart with a gloomy, distant manner. The same thought was in his
mind.

"Aren't they cold for lovers?..." By way of reply to her own question,
she kissed her fiance.

X

After fingering the deposit the old pot-bellied concierge livened up.
"Money from lovers isn't mere money, it means go