wheels brings us closer to the town. The young woman
drawing herself up reassumes her manner of a somebody. She is back in
her setting, already less unhappy because she is nearer her unhappiness.
She pulls out her watch. Five minutes still. Time enough to lean on
one's elbow and think sad thoughts pro tem, which come running like a
docile flock.

I put my hand up to my forehead to prevent her searching my eyes for the
fountain of compassion denied her. There is no compassion for her in me,
neither is there in the opal-tinted meadows, nor under the sapphire of
the sky. To find compassion she would have to reconstruct her life from
top to bottom. A fate such as hers lies outside the fate of humanity;
suffering such as hers is beside and apart from the suffering of
humanity. I say her fate has not made her suffer enough yet and the
woman does not deserve to live.

A woman who does nothing is fallen in the sight of love.

He and I are going to the country on our holiday. I have been thirsty
for its freshness....

The carriage is empty now. You feel the double pulse of the train as it
rolls between two slopes spitting out rings of smoke, pursued, you'd
think, by its own speed, travelling on, on, on....

IX

We've been here a week.

Strange days, without axis or prop or stay, passed as if outside of
something, as if you had been asked to step up to a door but not invited
inside. Nature is not easy to reach and penetrate.

We had longed to live in this spot conceiving it beforehand as an oasis
set in dew. And here it is under our feet with its earth which smells
good and its breezes which tinge our cheeks. For all our ardor and
assiduity nature preserves her mystery; she is an unresponsive mother
insensible to the clamor of her children. When we draw near, she stops
talking and either drops a veil or retires completely into seclusion.
"You would like to assay my movements, cull the delicate scent of the
grass blade by blade, meditate like this tree, follow the steps of the
peasants who are my only kith and kin, be a wave in space, unravel the
relations of things, and delude yourselves with my warmth. That is what
everybody wants. May your wish recoil on you. Do not try to reach me.
Do not turn your heads in my direction. Let the thrills and tremors of
your feelings pass between yourselves. I know you not."

In order to arrive at a mutual understanding with nature, one
undoubtedly must have more of the heart of a