of
_insouciance_ and devilmaycarefulness.

But such courage of a Dutch evaporated deplorably on closer perusal of
the said writ, which contained the peremptory mandate that I was to
enter my appearance within the incredibly short notice of eight days, or
the judgment would be given in my absence!

Now it was totally out of the question that I was to prepare a long
complicated defence, and have the requisite witnesses, and also perfect
myself in the customs and etiquettes of Common Law Procedure, all in
such a ridiculously brief period; and yet, if I remained _perdu_ with a
hidden head, I could not hope for even the minimum of justice, since,
heigh-ho! _les absents ont toujours tort_. So that I shed blistering and
scalding tears like a spanked child, to find myself confronting such a
devil of a deep sea, and my day was dismal and my night a nonentity,
until, by a great piece of potluck, on going up the next morning to the
library of my Inn, I espied my young friend HOWARD in the compound,
busily employed in a lawn tennis game.

Having partially poured the cat from my bag already into his sympathetic
and receptive bosom, I decided to confide to him my hard case in its
entirety, and so made him a secret sign that I desired some private
confabulations at his earliest conveniency, which he observing, after
the termination of the match, came towards the remote bench whereon I
was forlornly moping, and sat down kindly by my side.

This young ALLBUTT-INNETT, I am to mention here, had only just missed
succeeding in the passing of Bar Exam owing to the inveterate malignancy
of his stars and lack of a more industrial temperament; but from the
coolness of his cheek, and complete man-of-the-worldliness, is a most
judicious and tip-top adviser to friends in tight places.

_Experto crede_, for, when he had heard the latest particulars of my
shocking _imbroglio_, he promptly gave me the excellent advice that I
was to consult a solicitor; strongly recommending a Mr SIDNEY SMARTLE,
who was a former schoolmate of his own, and a good thundering chap, and
who (he thought) was not so overburdened as yet by legal business that
he could not find time for working the oracle on my behalf.

"And look here, JAB," he added (he has sometimes the extreme
condescension to address me as an abbreviation), "I'll trot you up to
him at once--and I say, A 1 idea! tell him you mean to be your own
counsel, and do all the speechifying yourself. Native p