dost,
Deign from thy brilliant boots to cast the superfluous star-dust
Upon
The head of him
Whose fate depends
On Thee!

(_Signed_) BABOO HURRY BUNGSHO JABBERJEE.

The above was forwarded (_post-paid_) to Hon'ble AUSTIN'S official
address at Poet's Corner, Westminster Abbey (opposite the Royal
Aquarium), but--hoity-toity and _mirabile dictu!_--no answer has yet
been vouchsafed to yours truly save the cold shoulder of contemptuous
inattention!

What a pity! Well-a-day, that we should find such passions of envy and
jealousy in bosom of a distinguished poet, whose lucubrated productions
may (for all that is known to the present writer) be no great shakes
after all, and mere food for powder!

The British public is an ardent lover of the scintillating jewellery of
fair play, and so I confidently submit my claims and poetical
compositions to be arbitrated by the unanimous voice of all who
understand such articles.

Let us remember that it is never too late to pull down the fallen idol
out of the gilded shrine in which it has established itself with the
egotistical isolation of a dog with the mange!

IV

_Containing Mr Jabberjee's Impressions at The Old
Masters._

I have the honour to report that the phantom of delight has recently
recommenced to dance before me.

[Illustration: "MISS JESSIMINA MANKLETOW."]

Miss JESSIMINA MANKLETOW, the perfumed, moony-faced daughter of the
gracious and eagle-eyed goddess who presides over the select boarding
establishment in which I am resident member, has of late emerged from
the shell of superciliousness, and brought the beaming eye of
encouragement to bear upon my diffidence and humility.

This I partly attribute to general impression--which I do not condescend
to deny--that, at home, I occupy the social status of a Rajah, or some
analogous kind of big native pot.

So, on a recent Saturday afternoon, she invited me to escort her and a
similar young virginal lady friend, by name Miss PRISCILLA PRIMMETT, to
Burlington House, Piccadilly, and, as _Prince Hamlet_ appositely
remarks, "Look here upon this picture and on this." Which I joyfully
accepted, being head-over-heels in love with Art, and the possessor of
two magnificent coloured photo-lithographs, representing a
steeplechase in the act of jumping a trench, and a water-nymph in the
very _decollete_ undress of "_puris naturalibus_," weltering on a rushy
be