en a surreptitious simper. But
this is perhaps occasioned by over prudence.

The learned junior on my right has risen, and in shockingly bald and
barren verbiage has stated the issues which are to be tried, and, being
evidently no Heaven-born orator, sits abruptly down, completely
gravelled for lack of a more copious vocabulary. A poor tongue-tied
devil of a chap whom I regard with pity!

WITHERINGTON, Q.C., is addressing the jury. He is not a tongue-tied, but
he speaks in a colloquial, commonplace sort of fashion which does not
shed a very brilliant lustre upon boasted British advocacy.

Though of an unromantic obesity, it appears from the excessive eulogies
he lavishes upon JESSIMINA that he is already the tangled fly in the web
of her feminine enchantments. What a pity that such a prominent
barrister should be so unskilled in seeing through such a millstone as
the female heart!

He is persisting in making most incorrect and uncomplimentary allusions
to my undeserving self, which it is impossible that I am to suffer
without rising to repudiate with voluble indignation! However, though he
makes bitter complaints of my interruptions, he does me the honour to
refer to me as his friend, for which I thank him with a gratified
fervour, assuring him that I reciprocate his esteem.

Hon'ble Judge has just tendered me the kindly and golden advice that,
unless I sit down and remain hermetically sealed, the case will
infallibly continue for ever and anon, and that I am not to advance my
interests by disregarding the customary etiquettes of the Bar.

11.5.--JESSIMINA is giving her testimony. Indubitably she has greatly
improved in her physical appearance since I was a resident of
Porticobello House, and her habiliments are as fashionably ladylike (if
not more so) than Miss WEE-WEE'S own! Alack! that she should relate her
story with so many departures from ordinary veracity. Her pulchritude
and well-assumed timidity have captivated even the senile Judge, for,
after I have risen and vehemently contradicted her in various
unimportant details, he has actually barked at me that, unless I wait
until it is my turn to cross-examine he will take some very severe
measure with me at the rising of the Court! A pretty specimen of
judicial impartiality!

1.30 P.M.--The Court has risen for lunch at the conclusion of a rather
severe cross-examination by myself of the fair plaintiff, and, not being
oppressed by pangs of hunger, I have leis