y have omitted to do this, and I anticipate
exciting excessive admiration in Court by the ingenuity of my arguments
from Analogy, Common Sense, Roman Law, &c.

My said solicitor has also communicated with Hon'ble Sir CHETWYND
CUMMERBUND, to inquire if he would consent to appear as a witness to my
dependent filial condition, and entire lack of the sinews of war; which,
with fatherly kindness, he has agreed to do, and, as he rather
humorously puts it, convince the jury that I am the good riddance of bad
rubbish.

Now the decks are cleaned for action, and all is ready for the forensic
logomachy as soon as it may please Providence and some associate in the
Queen's Bench Division to place the suit of _Mankletow ~v.~ Jabberjee_ in
the list of causes for the day.

My solicitor's advice, which I shall very probably adopt, is to keep as
close as possible to the issues, and more especially to the point that,
if I gave any promise to marry at all, it was extorted from me by
threats of bodily violence which reduced me to a blue funkiness.

Also he recommends that I am not to attempt any golden-mouthed
eloquence, thereby making the lamentable exhibit of a most stupendous
ignorance of human nature!

For what can melt the stony hearts of men, causing them to bellow like
an ox and become tender as chickens, or what can rouse them to
Indignation, Approval, Contempt, Wonderment, and every other known
sentiment as required, so effectively as the trumpeting tongue of
oratorical eloquence!

All I can aver is that, if I am not to be permitted to draw the
glittering sword of my tongue from the scabbard of my mouth, I shall
infallibly, in sheer sickishness at such short-sighted folly, throw up
my brief!

I must not omit to say that if any of my fellow-colleagues on this
periodical (of course including Hon'ble Editor) should be anxious to
become eye-witnesses of my forensic _debut_, I shall be overjoyed to
procure their admission and will instruct the Usher that they are to be
awarded the seats of honour. Perhaps it might even be feasible for two
or three of them to obtain appointments as jurymen.

If so, let them not turn the deaf ear to the gentle wheezings of their
_esprit de corps_, but remember that it is not the custom for one eagle
to peck another in his optics.

XXVIII

_Mankletow ~v.~ Jabberjee. Notes taken by Mr Jabberjee in Court during the
proceedings._

_Queen's Bench Court, No. ----,_ 10.20 A.M.

T