d thee very much "more t'other!"

'Twas sweet to hear you sing of _love_,
But, when you talk of _gold_,
Your sordid, base design you prove,
And--for it _must_ be told--
Since from my soul the truth you drag--
"You let the cat out of the bag!"

* * * * *

STARVATION STATISTICS FOR SIR ROBERT PEEL

That the people of this country are grossly pampered there can be no
doubt, for the following facts have been ascertained from which it will be
seen that there have been instances of persons living on much coarser fare
than the working classes in England.

In 1804, a shipwrecked mariner, who was thrown on to the celebrated
mud-island of Coromandel, lived for three weeks upon his own wearing
apparel. He first sucked all the goodness out of his jacket, and the
following day dashed his buttons violently against the rock in order to
soften them. He next cut pieces from his trousers, as tailors do when they
want cabbage, and found them an excellent substitute for that salubrious
vegetable. He was in the act of munching his boots for breakfast one
morning, when he was fortunately picked up by his Majesty's schooner
_Cutaway_.

In the year '95, the crew of the brig _Terrible_ lost all their
provisions, except a quantity of candles. After these were gone, they took
a plank out of the side of the vessel and sliced it, which was their board
for a whole fortnight.

After these startling and particularly well-authenticated facts, it would
be absurd to deny that there is no reason for taking into consideration
the comparatively trifling distress that is now prevalent.

* * * * *

THE FASTEST MAN.

"A person named Meara," says the _Galway Advertiser_, "confined for debt
some time since in our town jail, fasted sixteen days!"

Sibthorp says this is an excellent illustration of hard and fast, and
entitles the gentleman to be placed at

[Illustration: THE SUMMIT OF HIS PROFESSION.]

* * * * *

SIBTHORPS CON. CORNER.

Dear PUNCH,--Have you seen the con. I made the other day? I transcribe it
for you:--

"Though Wealth's neglect and Folly's taunt
Conspire to distress the poor,
Pray can you tell me why _sharp_ want
Can ne'er approach the pauper's door"

D'Orsay has rhymed the following answer:--

"The merest child might wonder how
The pauper e'er _sharp_ wants can know,
When, spite of cruel