OLITENESS.

_Party in Check Cap._ "WILL YOU HAVE MY PLACE, SIR?"]

* * * * *

"Three swift fierce rounds between Beckett and Wells and the
18,000 spectators at Olympia last night witnessed the close of
yet another great ring drama."--_Daily Chronicle._

"Beckett ... bowed more by instinct than of set purpose to the
shouting, over-wrought people who from the floor of Olympia
shot up to the ceiling."--_Daily Telegraph._

We had no idea until we read these paragraphs that the spectators took
such an active part in the proceedings.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _House-hunter (after another fruitless day)._ "WHAT
ABOUT TAKING THIS? WE COULD AT LEAST HANG OUR PICTURES."]

* * * * *

THE FAIRY BALL.

"I am asked to the ball to-night, to-night;
What shall I wear, for I must look right?"
"Search in the fields for a lady's-smock;
Where could you find you a prettier frock?"

"I am asked to the ball to-night, to-night;
What shall I do for my jewels bright?"
"Trouble you not for a brooch or a ring,
A daisy-chain is the properest thing."

"I am asked to the ball to night, to-night;
What shall I do if I shake with fright?"
"When you are there you will understand
That no one is frightened in Fairyland."

R. F.

* * * * *

"WIT AND HUMOUR.

Ashton and District Undertakers' Association have advanced
the prices of hearse and carriages for funerals."--_Yorkshire
Paper._

If this is the kind of humour that appeals to our contemporary it
should alter the heading to "Grave and Gay."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE LUXURIES OF THE RICH.

_Club Member (owner of thirty thousand acre estate)._ "I TELL YOU
WHAT IT IS--I MUST REALLY GET MY HAIR CUT. DASH IT, I'VE GOT THE
MONEY."]

* * * * *

COMMUNISM AT CAMBRIDGE.

[Bolshevism and Communism claim many adherents among the young
intellectuals at our ancient Universities.--_Vide Press._]

I am a Socialist, a Syndicalist, an Anarchist, a Bolshevist--whatever
you like to call me; if you wish to be precise, an International
Communist.

Anyhow, as such I am opposed tooth-and-nail to the iniquity of the
existing Competitive System. It is my intention to devote my life
to its eradication, in whatever form it may be disguise