old tea to her by a decayed professional person disguised as a
waiter. But don't think you can trifle with me. I am a lady's maid; and
I know the ladies' maids and valets of all the aristocracies of Europe
and all the millionaires of America. When I expose your hotel as the
second-rate little hole it is, not a soul above the rank of a curate
with a large family will be seen entering it. I shake its dust off my
feet. Order the luggage to be taken down at once.

THE MANAGER [appealing to the Princess]. Can Your Highness believe this
of me? Have I had the misfortune to offend Your Highness?

THE PRINCESS. Oh no. I am quite satisfied. Please--

ERMYNTRUDE. Is Your Highness dissatisfied with me?

THE PRINCESS [intimidated]. Oh no: please don't think that. I only
meant--

ERMYNTRUDE [to the manager]. You hear. Perhaps you think Her Highness
is going to do the work of teaching you your place herself, instead of
leaving it to her maid.

THE MANAGER. Oh please, mademoiselle. Believe me: our only wish is to
make you perfectly comfortable. But in consequence of the war, all royal
personages now practise a rigid economy, and desire us to treat them
like their poorest subjects.

THE PRINCESS. Oh yes. You are quite right--

ERMYNTRUDE [interrupting]. There! Her Highness forgives you; but don't
do it again. Now go downstairs, my good man, and get that suite on the
first floor ready for us. And send some proper tea. And turn on the
heating apparatus until the temperature in the rooms is comfortably
warm. And have hot water put in all the bedrooms--

THE MANAGER. There are basins with hot and cold taps.

ERMYNTRUDE [scornfully]. Yes: there WOULD be. Suppose we must put up
with that: sinks in our rooms, and pipes that rattle and bang and guggle
all over the house whenever anyone washes his hands. I know.

THE MANAGER [gallant]. You are hard to please, mademoiselle.

ERMYNTRUDE. No harder than other people. But when I'm not pleased I'm
not too ladylike to say so. That's all the difference. There is nothing
more, thank you.

The Manager shrugs his shoulders resignedly; makes a deep bow to the
Princess; goes to the door; wafts a kiss surreptitiously to Ermyntrude;
and goes out.

THE PRINCESS. It's wonderful! How have you the courage?

ERMYNTRUDE. In Your Highness's service I know no fear. Your Highness can
leave all unpleasant people to me.

THE PRINCESS. How I wish I could! The most dreadful thing of all I have
to go th