e; and I doubt whether
any of these young degenerates would make you happy. I trust I am not
showing any want of natural feeling when I say that from the point of
view of a lively, accomplished, and beautiful woman [Ermyntrude bows]
they might pall after a time. I suggest that you might prefer the Inca
himself.

ERMYNTRUDE. Oh, Captain, how could a humble person like myself be of
any interest to a prince who is surrounded with the ablest and most
far-reaching intellects in the world?

TAE INCA [explosively]. What on earth are you talking about, madam? Can
you name a single man in the entourage of the Inca who is not a born
fool?

ERMYNTRUDE. Oh, how can you say that! There is Admiral von Cockpits--

THE INCA [rising intolerantly and striding about the room]. Von
Cockpits! Madam, if Von Cockpits ever goes to heaven, before three weeks
are over the Angel Gabriel will be at war with the man in the moon.

ERMYNTRUDE. But General Von Schinkenburg--

THE INCA. Schinkenburg! I grant you, Schinkenburg has a genius for
defending market gardens. Among market gardens he is invincible. But
what is the good of that? The world does not consist of market gardens.
Turn him loose in pasture and he is lost. The Inca has defeated all
these generals again and again at manoeuvres; and yet he has to
give place to them in the field because he would be blamed for every
disaster--accused of sacrificing the country to his vanity. Vanity! Why
do they call him vain? Just because he is one of the few men who are not
afraid to live. Why do they call themselves brave? Because they have
not sense enough to be afraid to die. Within the last year the world
has produced millions of heroes. Has it produced more than one Inca? [He
resumes his seat.]

ERMYNTRUDE. Fortunately not, Captain. I'd rather marry Chips.

THE INCA [making a wry face]. Chips! Oh no: I wouldn't marry Chips.

ERMYNTRUDE. Why?

THE INCA [whispering the secret]. Chips talks too much about himself.

ERMYNTRUDE. Well, what about Snooks?

THE INCA. Snooks? Who is he? Have I a son named Snooks? There are so
many--[wearily] so many--that I often forget. [Casually.] But I wouldn't
marry him, anyhow, if I were you.

ERMYNTRUDE. But hasn't any of them inherited the family genius? Surely,
if Providence has entrusted them with the care of Perusalem--if they are
all descended from Bedrock the Great--

THE INCA [interrupting her impatiently]. Madam, if you ask me, I
consider Bedroc