rase what I believe were the words of a popular poet whose name
has passed from my memory--such, alas! is popularity--I will say to
you, "Not to-day. DACRE"--(I fancy the last word was "Baker" in the
original Syriac)--but, some other day, when, as one of the Lights
aforementioned, I shall, at a _Matinee_ be day-lighted to re-witness
your admirable performance.

Yours ever most sincerely sincere,

EDWIN TAILS-LOSE, C.B.

P.S.--"C.B." is not "Commander of the Bath," but stands for "_Cox
and Box_," in which piece (have you ever played it? I forget--but how
perfect you would be as _Sergeant_ or _Corporal Bouncer!_) you will
find the immortal quotation which precedes these descriptive initial
letters.

* * * * *

MY DOCTOR.

When Influenza pangs attack
My tortured head and limbs and back,
You soothe me, stretched upon the rack,
My Doctor.

When, convalescent, I'm too weak
To stand, or sit, or see, or speak,
Your tonics make me tough as teak,
My Doctor.

No symptoms seem to cause surprise;
Though I turn green or blue, your eyes
Are still impenetrably wise,
My Doctor.

If grave or slight the case, you still
Awe folks with look of learned skill;
You cure them, whether well or ill,
My Doctor.

One needs trepanning of the head,
Another just one pill--of bread,
And neither, thanks to you, is dead,
My Doctor.

Long may you live to see the tongue,
To listen to the wheezy lung,
To feel the pulse of old and young,
My Doctor!

* * * * *

A BUTTON-HOLE FOR MR. CHAMBERLAIN.--At the sale of the Quorn House
Orchids, Mr. G. HARDY purchased a _Cattleyn Mendelli_ for 220 _guas_.
Perhaps Mr. CHAMBERLAIN wouldn't bid, having mistaken "Mendelli" for
"Mundella." But to have entered the house in a careless fashion, with
a "glass (with care)" in his eye, and a two-hundred-and-twenty-guinea
Orchid in his button-hole, would have been a great sight for "JOEY
B"-IRMINGHAM.

* * * * *

EARLY AND LATE.--A telegram in the _Times_, Wednesday 12, was
headed--"Japan: Yokohama, March 30 (_via_ Victoria, B.C., April 11)."
This met the eye of our old friend, Mrs. R., who forthwith exclaimed,
"'April 11, B.C.!' and only arrived here now--April 12, A.D.!"

* *