said never mind where she got it. NO RUNS.

EIGHTH INNING: Thibbets sharpened his pencil. Litner got up and went
home. Scanlon yelled to Ruth to end up the game with a homer. Ruth
singled. Scanlon yelled "Atta-Babe!" and went home.

NINTH INNING: Stevens began figuring up the players' batting averages
for the season thus far. Wicker called over to Thurston and asked him
how Mr. Hasty was now. Thurston said "That's all right how he is." Mrs.
Whitebait said that she intended to go to her sister's for dinner and
that Mr. Whitebait could do as he liked. Mr. Whitebait told her to bet
that he would do just that. Thibbets broke his pencil.

Score: New York 11. Philadelphia 1.

XIV

MID-WINTER SPORTS

These are melancholy days for the newspaper sporting-writers. The
complaints are all in from old grads of Miami who feel that there
weren't enough Miami men on the All-American football team, and it is
too early to begin writing about the baseball training camps. Once in a
while some lady swimmer goes around a tank three hundred times, or the
holder of the Class B squash championship "meets all-comers in court
tilt," but aside from that, the sporting world is buried with the nuts
for the winter.

Since sporting-writers must live, why not introduce a few items of
general interest into their columns, accounts of the numerous contests
of speed and endurance which take place during the winter months in the
homes of our citizenry? For instance:

The nightly races between Mr. and Mrs. Theodore M. Twamly, to see who
can get into bed first, leaving the opening of the windows and putting
out of the light for the loser, was won last night for the first time
this winter by Mr. Twamly. Strategy entered largely into the victory,
Mr. Twamly getting into bed with most of his clothes on.

An interesting exhibition of endurance was given by Martin W. Lasbert at
his home last evening when he covered the distance between the
cold-water tap in his bath-room to the bedside of his young daughter,
Mertice, eighteen times in three hours, this being the number of her
demands for water to drink. When interviewed after the eighteenth lap,
Mr. Lasbert said: "I wouldn't do it another time, not if the child were
parching." Shortly after that he made his nineteenth trip.

As was exclusively predicted in these columns yesterday and in
accordance with all the dope, Chester H. Flerlie suffered his sixtieth
consecutive defeat last evening at th