f their trunks. Think this over.

_Schedule C_

Right at the start of this list we find charcoal bars being boosted.
Have our children no rights? What is a train-ride with children without
Hershey's charcoal bars? Or gypsum? What more picturesque on a ride
through the country-side than a band of gypsum encamped by the road
with their bright colors and gay tambourine playing? Are these simple
folk to be kept out of this country simply because a Republican tariff
insists on raising the tax on gypsum?

_Schedule D_

A way to evade the injustice of this schedule is in the matter of marble
slabs. "Marble slabs, rubbed" are going to cost more to import than
"marble slabs, unrubbed." What we are planning to do in this office is
to get in a quantity of unrubbed marble slabs and then rub them
ourselves. A coarse, dry towel is very good for rubbing, they say.

Any further discussion of the details of this iniquitous tariff would
only enrage us to a point of incoherence. Perhaps a short list of some
of the things you will have to do without under the new arrangement will
serve to enrage you also:

Senegal gum, buchu leaves, lava tips for burners, magic lantern strips,
spiegeleisen nut washers, butchers' skewers and gun wads.

Now write to your congressman!

LITERARY DEPARTMENT

XXXVI

"TAKE ALONG A BOOK"

There seems to be a concerted effort, manifest in the "Take Along a
Book" drive, to induce vacationists to slip at least one volume into the
trunk before getting Daddy to jump on it.

This is a fine idea, for there is always a space between the end of the
tennis-racquet and the box of soap in which the shoe-whitening is liable
to tip over unless you jam a book in with it. Any book will do.

It is usually a book that you have been meaning to read all Spring, one
that you have got so used to lying about to people who have asked you if
you have read it that you have almost kidded yourself into believing
that you really have read it. You picture yourself out in the hammock or
down on the rocks, with a pillow under your head and pipe or a box of
candy near at hand, just devouring page after page of it. The only thing
that worries you is what you will read when you have finished that. "Oh,
well," you think, "there will probably be some books in the town
library. Maybe I can get Gibbon there. This summer will be a good time
to read Gibbon through."

Your trunk doesn't reach the cottage until four days aft