, if you are lucky, an old bottle of olives. Get
out a cook-book and choose something that looks nice in the picture. In
place of the ingredients which you do not have, substitute those which
you do, thus: nutmegs for eggs, tapioca for truffles, corn-starch and
water for milk, and so forth and so forth. Then go in and set the table
according to the instructions in the cook-book for a Washington's
Birthday party, light the candles, and with one of them set fire to the
house.

There is probably a night-train for Anybunkport which you can catch
while the place is still burning.

* * * * *

To those male readers whose families are away for the summer:

_Tear the above story out along dotted line and mail it to the folks,
writing in pencil across the top "This guy has struck it about right."
Then drop around tonight at seven-thirty to Eddie's apartment. Joe
Reddish, John Liftwich, Harry Thibault and three others will be there
and the limit will be fifty cents. Game will_ absolutely _break up at
one-thirty. No fooling. One-thirty and not a minute longer._

XI

"ROLL YOUR OWN"

_Inside Points on Building and Maintaining a Private Tennis Court_

Now that the Great War is practically over, until the next one begins
there isn't very much that you can do with that large plot of ground
which used to be your war-garden. It is too small for a running-track
and too large for nasturtiums. Obviously, the only thing left is a
tennis-court.

One really ought to have a tennis-court of one's own. Those at the Club
are always so full that on Saturdays and Sundays the people waiting to
play look like the gallery at a Davis Cup match, and even when you do
get located you have two sets of balls to chase, yours and those of the
people in the next court.

The first thing is to decide among yourselves just what kind of court it
is to be. There are three kinds: grass, clay, and corn-meal. In Maine,
gravel courts are also very popular. Father will usually hold out for a
grass court because it gives a slower bounce to the ball and Father
isn't so quick on the bounce as he used to be. All Mother insists on is
plenty of headroom. Junior and Myrtis will want a clay one because you
can dance on a clay one in the evening. The court as finished will be a
combination grass and dirt, with a little golden-rod late in August.

A little study will be necessary before laying out the court. I mean you
can't jus