and it without offering to assist,
get down from the fence and go into your own house and up to your own
room. There pray for strength. By the time you come down, the owner of
the garden ought to have stopped raking and got started on the planting.

Here the watcher's task is almost entirely advisory. And, for the first
part of the planting, he should lie low and say nothing. Wait until the
planter has got his rows marked out and has wobbled along on his knees
pressing the seeds into perhaps half the length of his first row. Then
say:

"Hey there, Charlie! You've got those rows going the wrong way."

Charlie will say no he hasn't. Then he will ask what you mean the wrong
way.

"Why, you poor cod, you've got them running north and south. They ought
to go east and west. The sun rises over there, doesn't it?" (Charlie
will attempt to deny this, but you must go right on.) "And it comes on
up behind that tree and over my roof and sets over there, doesn't it?"
(By this time, Charlie will be crying with rage.) "Well, just as soon as
your beans get up an inch or two they are going to cast a shadow right
down the whole row and only those in front will ever get any sun. You
can't grow things without sun, you know."

If Charlie takes you seriously and starts in to rearrange his rows in
the other direction, you might perhaps get down off the fence and go in
the house. You have done enough. If he doesn't take you seriously, you
surely had better go in.

IX

THE MANHATTADOR

Announcements have been made of a bull-fight to be held in Madison
Square Garden, New York, in which only the more humane features of the
Spanish institution are to be retained. The bull will not be killed, or
even hurt, and horses will not be used as bait.

If a bull-fight must be held, this is of course the way to hold it, but
what features are to be substituted for the playful gorings and
stabbings of the Madrid system? Something must be done to enrage the
bull, otherwise he will just sulk in a corner or walk out on the whole
affair. Following is a suggestion for the program of events:

1. Grand parade around the ring, headed by a brass-band and the mayor in
matador's costume. Invitations to march in this parade will be issued to
every one in the bull-fighting set with the exception of the bull, who
will be ignored. This will make him pretty sore to start with.

2. After the marchers have been seated, the bull will be led into the
ring. A