solutely--" I began, and then stopped,
remembering Ernest's tract. It only shows, as I said to Ernest, that we
may learn something even from the most unlikely people.

* * * * *

"Wanted, a strong Boy, about 15 years old, for bottling, &c. The
Brewery, Brixham."

_The Western Guardian._

"Waiter, bring me a bottle of the boy."

* * * * *

"... contest the right of the Spanish authorities to intern damaged
submarines seeking refuse in neutral ports."--_Star._

The Spanish authorities are expected to reply that if that is what the
U-boats are after there is no need for them to leave home.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _First Artist._ "BY GAD! OLD PARSLEY'S SURPASSED
HIMSELF. LAMB CUTLETS, TWO CHOCOLATE CAKES AND THREE LUMPS OF SUGAR.
RATTLING GOOD SUBJECT."

_Second Artist._ "I THOUGHT OF ONE NEARLY AS GOOD, BUT COULDN'T AFFORD
THE MODELS."]

* * * * *

HEART-TO-HEART TALKS.

_(The GERMAN CROWN PRINCE and Fritz, his Valet.)_

_The Crown Prince (in bed and yawning)._ Is that you, Fritz?

_Fritz._ Yes, your Royal Highness. What uniform shall I lay out for his
Royal Highness?

_The C.P._ You can lay out the best I have--the one of the Death's Head
Hussars, with all my stars and medals. I am expecting an important
visit.

_Fritz (with a meaning smile)._ If I might venture so far, I would
suggest to his Royal Highness that he should wear the Trench uniform,
which I arranged with the bullet-holes and the mud-splashes. It creates
a greater effect, especially if the visitor be a lady.

_The C.P._ Fritz, you dog, how dare you? Very well, have it your own way
and let it be the Trench uniform.

_Fritz._ I am only anxious to promote his Royal Highness's interest in
every possible way.

_The C.P._ I know, I know. Only we shall have old HINDENBURG growling
and grunting and looking as black as a thundercloud. I cannot imagine
what my revered father sees in that old wooden effigy, whose only idea
of strategy is to retreat from strong positions. That, at any rate, is
not the fashion in which I have learnt war. I'm thoroughly tired of
hearing of all these HINDENBURG plans, which come to nothing.

_Fritz._ Your Royal Highness is, of course, right. But what I say to
myself is that the ALL-HIGHEST, your Royal Highness's most gracious
father, has in all this a deep-laid design to show conclusively