ce speak Italian perfectly?"

_"Weekly Dispatch" Secret History of the Week._

But in fairness to the "master minds" it should be remembered that few
of them have the advantage of a Scotch father and a Welsh mother.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Hospital Wardmaid (who has shown the new matron into her
room)._--"WELL, I MUST SAY I HOPE YOU'VE COME TO STAY. YOU'LL BE THE
SIXTH MATRON I'VE TRAINED."]

* * * * *

AT THE PLAY.

"THE BETTER 'OLE."

I must congratulate Mr. CHARLES COCHRAN on his courage in transforming
the Oxford Music-hall into a home of "the legitimate," and still more on
his good fortune in securing for the initiation of his new venture the
play which Captain BRUCE BAIRNSFATHER and Captain ARTHUR ELIOT have
written round the adventures of "Old Bill." In form it resembles a
_revue_, but I prefer to call it a play, because it possesses a plot,
distinct if slight--an encumbrance banned by most _revue_ producers; and
because it contains an abundance of honest spontaneous fun. The authors
start with the advantage, if it be an advantage, that the principal
characters are already familiar to the audience through the medium of
Captain BAIRNSFATHER's popular drawings; but they have not been content
with reproducing their well-known, now almost hackneyed, adventures, but
have added many others which are new and yet "come into the picture."

Their greatest piece of luck was in finding a comedian exactly fitted to
fill the part of the humble hero. Mr. ARTHUR BOURCHIER as _Old Bill_ is
absolutely "it." His make-up is perfect; he might have stepped out of
the drawing, or sat for it, whichever you please. But, much more than
that, he seems to have exactly realised the sort of man _Old Bill_
probably is in real life--slow-speaking and stolid in manner, yet with a
vein of common-sense underlying his apparent stupidity; much addicted to
beer and other liquids, but not brutalized thereby; and, while often
grousing and grumbling, nevertheless possessed almost unconsciously of a
strong sense of duty and an undaunted determination to see it through.
It is a tribute to the essential truthfulness of Captain BAIRNSFATHER'S
conception and Mr. BOURCHIER'S acting that one comes away from _The
Better 'Ole_ feeling that there must be thousands of _Old Bills_ at the
Front fighting for our freedom.

Admirable work is done, too, by Mr. TOM WOOTTWELL as _Bert_, the