Huge fish of unfamiliar type--
Bush-pike and bubble-dace;
Or, fired by hopes of lyric fame,
We deviate from prose,
And make it our especial aim
Bun-sonnets to compose.

I wonder did the ancients prove
Responsive to your spell,
Or, riveted to Reason's groove,
Against your charms rebel.
And yet some senator obese,
In Rome long years ago,
May have misnamed a masterpiece
_De Gallo bellico_.

We know there were heroic men
Ere AGAMEMNON'S days,
Who passed forgotten from our ken,
Lacking a poet's praise;
But, though great Metaphasiarchs
Have doubtless flourished sooner,
I'm sure their raciest remarks
Have been eclipsed by S-----r.

* * * * *

THE LIMIT.

"The daily cost of the war has shown an alarming tendency to
mount, and has gone beyond the 700 millions which some folk
thought must be the limit a few months ago."

_Sussex Daily News._

* * * * *

"Junior Assistant wanted to Grocery, Spirit and Provision
business; send copy references and salary expected."--_Irish
Paper._

Quite a promising idea for getting more capital into a business.

* * * * *

INVENTIONS.

"Amongst a number of new inventions," says the _Frankfischer Tagwacht_,
"is an imitation of the smell of Limburger cheese." This has caused some
alarm and not a little interest in this country, as the following
extracts will show:--

"Berlin Resident" states that he has too long been fed up with imitation
meals, and for weeks past has had nothing to eat but holes from
Limburger.

"Cynic" remarks that it is impossible for the German scientists to
defeat the WOLFF wireless at inventions.

Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL is anxious to know whether they have yet
discovered a substitute for _The Morning Post_.

_The Times_ Greenwich correspondent wires: "If they have invented a
method whereby a news report will make a noise like 'Passed by Censor'
will they wire terms?"

* * * * *

Inscription on a French picture post-card:--

"Une locomotive abandonee devant Thiepval. One locomotive a
profligate woman forepart Thiepval."

Smith minor is avenged.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE REAL VOICE OF LABOUR.

TOMMY. "SO YOU'RE GOING TO STOCKHOLM TO TALK TO FRITZ, ARE YOU? WELL,
I'M GOING BACK T