has been built which, at
present, could not have been knocked down by the few who really
desire Reform.

PEMBROKE LODGE, _April_ 8, 1854

Painfully anxious day. Cabinet to decide on Reform or no Reform
this session.

Came here early with the children, wishing to be cheerful for
John's sake, and knowing how much power Pembroke Lodge and the
children have to make me so. Found this place most lovely; the day
warm and bright as June; the children like larks escaped from a
cage. At half-past seven John came looking worn and sad--no Reform,
and no resignation! Not a man in the Cabinet agreed with him that
it would be best to go on with Reform; though several would have
consented had he insisted, but he did not. Not one would hear
either of his resignation or of Lord Palmerston's. In short--the
present Ministry at any price. John dissatisfied with his
colleagues, and worse with himself. May God watch over him and
guide him.

LONDON, _April_ 11, 1854

The great day is over, and thank God John has stood the trial, and
even risen, I believe, in the estimation of his followers and of
men in general. The regrets, disapprobation, despair, reproaches
that assailed him from the various sections of his party, on the
rumours of his resignation, were of a kind that would have made it
wrong in him to persist; for they proved that the heartiest
reformers were against it, and would uphold him in remaining in the
Government.

There was deep silence when he rose. It was soon plain that the
disposition of his supporters was good; and throughout his noble,
simple, generous, touching speech he was loudly cheered by them,
and often by all sides.

At the close there were a few words about his own position: he said
that the course he was taking was open to suspicion from those who
supported him--that if he had done anything--Here his voice failed
him, and there burst forth the most deafening cheers from all parts
of the House, which lasted for a minute or two, till he was able to
go on. If he had done anything for the cause of Reform he still
hoped for their confidence. If not, his influence would be weakened
and destroyed, and he could no longer lead them. This was the
substance--not the words. It was a great night for him. He risked
more than perhaps ought to be risked, but h