sooner, and supposing I shall be abused for my
Italian speech, in which he is quite right; but I may save some
poor devil by my denunciation of his persecutors.

_Lady John to Lord John Russell_

PEMBROKE LODGE, _August_ 12, 1855

It grieves me to have to write what will grieve you, but it would
be wrong and useless to hide it from you--I was taken ill suddenly
yesterday.... What I bear least well is the thought of you. I did
so hope that after all your political troubles you might be spared
anxieties of a worse kind; but it was not to be.... I hope,
dearest, you will not hurry home immediately. I should be so sorry
to think you only had the fatigue of two long journeys, instead of
some weeks of Highland air. I know how sadly your enjoyment will be
damaged, but do not--I beg you, dearest--do not let your spirits
sink. Nothing would make your poor old wife so sad. Georgy is the
best and dearest of children and nurses; I am so sorry for her.
Yesterday she was quite upset, far more than I was, but to-day she
has taken heart. God bless you. Think what happy people we still
are--happy far beyond the common lot--in one another and all our
darlings.

When Lord John heard of her illness, he wrote that he could not be a moment
easy away from her, and came home at once.

PEMBROKE LODGE, _September_ 8, 1855

Thank God! though in bed, I have generally been able to read and
talk, and for the last two days have given Johnny and the little
boys their lessons.... Cannot but hope I am a little less impatient
of illness, a little less unreasonably sorry to be debarred from
air and liberty and all I care for most in this world, than I used
to be.... I pray with my whole heart for the true faith and
patience that can never fail. I pray that, since I cannot teach my
children how to _do,_ I may teach them how to _bear,_ so
that even in illness I may not be wholly useless to them.

CHAPTER IX

1855-60

During the next four years Lord John remained out of office. He devoted
much time to literary work. Besides writing his "Life of Fox" and editing
the papers of his friend Thomas Moore, he delivered three important
addresses. The first was a lecture on the causes which have checked moral
and political progress. As will be seen from Lady John's diary, he was
still so unpopular that she felt some dread of its recept