irst,_ in seeing him
give so undoubted a proof of disinterestedness and patriotism as
consenting to be _second_, if that were all. But oh, the
danger of other sacrifices--sacrifices as fatal as that one would
be honourable to his name--and oh, the infinite shades and grades
of want of high motives and aims which, at such a time, one is
doomed to find out in the buzzers who hover round the house--while
the honest and pure and upright keep away and are silent. At times
I almost wish I could throw away all that is honest and pure and
upright, as useless and inconvenient rubbish of which I am half
ashamed. I never felt more keenly or heavily the immeasurable
distance between earth and heaven than now, when after the day has
been spent in listening to the plausibilities of commonplace
politicians, I open my Bible at night. It is going from darkness
into light.

And now you have had enough of my grumpiness, and I shall only add
that all has not been pain and mortification. On the contrary, some
men have come out bright and true as they were sure to do, and have
shown themselves real friends to John and the country, and redeemed
the class of politicians from a sweeping condemnation which would
be most unjust.

After much hesitation Lord John determined to serve under Lord Aberdeen. He
was persuaded to do so, in spite of strong misgivings, by the Queen, who
was anxious to avoid the last resort of calling in Palmerston; her request
was backed by the appeals of his most trusted political friends.

_Queen Victoria to Lord John Russell_

OSBORNE, _December_ 19, 1852

The Queen has to-day charged Lord Aberdeen with the duty of forming
an Administration, which he has accepted. The Queen thinks the
moment to have arrived when a popular, efficient, and durable
Government could be formed by the sincere and united efforts of all
parties professing Conservative and Liberal opinions. The Queen,
knowing that this can only be effected by the patriotic sacrifice
of personal interests and feelings to the public, trusts that Lord
John Russell will, as far as he is able, give his valuable and
powerful assistance to the realization of this object.

Lord John's hesitation seems to have been not unnaturally interpreted by
many contemporaries as the reluctance of an ex-Prime Minister to take a
subordinate position, and s