once
more. My vader--

_Podbury_. No, look here, my friend; you go and tell _that_ gentleman
all about it (_indicating CULCHARD_); he's very interested in hearing
what NAPOLEON wore or didn't wear.

[_The Guide takes possession of CULCHARD once more,
who submits, under the impression that Miss TROTTER is a
fellow-sufferer._

_Guide_ (_concluding a vivid account of the fight at Houguymont_).
Bot ven zey com qvite nearer, zey vind ze rade line no ze Inglis
soldiers--nossing bot a breek vall, viz ze moskets--'Prown Pesses,'
you coal dem--shdeekin out of ze 'oles! Ze 'oles schdill dere. Dat vas
Houguymont, in the orshairde. Now you com viz me and see ze lion. Ze
dail, two piece; ze bodi, von piece; ze ball, von piece. I sank you,
Sare. 'Ope you com again soon.

[_CULCHARD discovers that the TROTTERS and PODBURY have
gone down some time ago. At the foot of the steps he finds his
friend waiting for him, alone._

_Culch_. (_with stiff politeness_). Sorry you considered it necessary
to stay behind on my account. I see your American friends have already
started for the station.

_Podbury_ (_gloomily_). There were only two seats on that coach, and
they wouldn't wait for the next. I don't know why, unless it was that
they saw you coming down the steps. She can't stand you at any price.

_Culch._ (_with some heat_). Just as likely she had had enough of your
buffoonery!

_Podb._ (_with provoking good humour_). Come, old chap, don't get your
shirt out with me. Not my fault if she's found out you think yourself
too big a swell for her, is it?

_Culch._ (_hotly_). When did I say so--or think so? It's what you've
told her about me, and I must say I call it--

_Podb._ Don't talk bosh! Who said she was forward and bad form and all
the rest of it in the courtyard that first evening? She was close by,
and heard every word of it, I shouldn't wonder.

_Culch._ (_colouring_). It's not of vital importance if she did.
(_Whistling._) Few-fee-fee-foo-foodle-di-fee-di-fa-foo.

_Podb._ Not a bit--to her. Better step out if we mean to catch that
train. (_Humming._) La-di-loodle-lumpty-leedle-um-ti-loo!

[_They step out, PODBURY humming pleasantly and CULCHARD
whistling viciously, without further conversation, until they
arrive at Braine l'Alleud Station--and discover that they have
just missed their train._

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE TWO EMPERORS; OR, THE