little time since in
the columns of a daily contemporary:--

To those who have not time to give their dogs sufficient
exercise in London.--A Lady, experienced, would EXERCISE DOGS
in the Park. Terms, one hour daily, 5s. a week; two hours, 7s.
6d.--Address, &c.

[Illustration]

Listen to this, _Rover_, my hound!
This passes expectation!
A "Lady Guide," who'll trot you round
For scant remuneration!

When pain and anguish wring my brow
Because I'm doomed to hark
To your "Why-not-go-out?" bow-wow,
_She_'ll take you to the Park!

Cometh this ministering sprite,
Smiling upon us meekly,
And says, "I'll make your burden light
For seven-and-sixpence weekly."

They talk of "woman's sphere," when sole,
Her hemisphere, when mated;
But surely here she's reached the goal
For which she was created!

She'll _chaperon_ you down the Row,
With silken cord she'll lead
Your footsteps where the flowerets blow,--
A "lucky dog," indeed!

She'll win your love by bits of cake,
She'll let you bark, or growl,
And fight with other dogs, and make
War on the water-fowl.

Yet is it right your wayward tramp
Her maiden steps should hamper?
No one who knows you for a scamp
Would take you for a scamper!

And oh!--a thought most base and black,
That puts me in a fluster--
My _Rover, would she bring you back?_
No, no, I will not trust her!

The offer tempts--(again that bark!)--
But no--'tis weak to falter;
The chain that leads _you_ to the Park
May lead _me_ to the Altar!

* * * * *

FROM A VERY OCCASIONAL CORRESPONDENT.--"At Craig-y-nos we've been
keeping up quite Craig-y-noces. High jinks up here. Craig-y-nos means
the 'Rock of the Night,' but, mind you, no rock has been required by
any of us when we did go to bed, even though we had real Welsh rabbits
for supper. Madame PATTI, who takes the Patti-cake here, is far too
wiry ever to be a _Patti de foie gras_. Delicious air here, as any air
must be in which PATTI has a voice.--Yours truly,

"THE APPIEST OF THE AP JONESES."

* * * * *

[Illustration: GRANDOLPH HAVING STUDIED THE PRAETORIAN PARLIAMENT, IS
OF OPINION THAT THE PROCEEDINGS IN THE COMMONS MIGHT BE CONSIDERABLY
IMPROVED DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS, AND SENDS MR. PUNCH THIS OUTLINE OF
HIS SUGGESTIONS.]

* * *