ving the other boys to welcome the guests. 'Tell
me about it,' I says.

"'Short story,' says he. 'Moment I got off the choo-choo I spotted
the house--couldn't mistake it. Laid low in the daytime and
scouted around as soon as night come. Girl goes down to the barn
and comes back with a pail of milk. I grabbed her and put my hand
over her mouth so's she couldn't holler. "Now listen," I says to
her. "There's a friend of mine wants to marry you. When I let you
go, you'll skip into the house and pick up what clothes is handy,
and you'll vamoose this ranch at quarter of eleven, sharp, so we
can make the next train west. If you ain't there, or if you say a
single word to a human being--you see this?" and I stuck the end of
my hoss-pistol under her nose. "Well, I'll blow the head clean off
your shoulders with it." Then I laid back my ears and rolled my
eyes around. Well, sir, she was scart so's she didn't know
anything but what I said. I hated to treat a lady like that, but
if I've learned anything concerning handlin' the sect, it's
this--you got to be firm. There's where I made my mistake
formerly. Then I let go of her and went back to the deppo. What
she thought I couldn't even guess, but I knew I was goin' to have
company, and, sure enough, 'bout three minutes before train time,
here comes our friend. When I got her safe aboard I told her she
needn't be scart. Lots worse things could happen to her than
marryin' Aleck, and she says "yessir," and she kept on sayin'
"yessir" to all I told her.--Wisht I could have found one like
that, instead of eighty of 'em that stood ready to jump down my
throat the minute I opened my mouth.--She told me she'd had a
middlin' hard time of it and didn't mind a change. That surprised
me a little, because I jedged from Aleck's talk she was an
upstandin' critter--but, pshaw! Aleck would think a worm was a
sassy thing if it squirmed in his direction. Then I telegraphed
Con Foster to have me a buggy and a minister ready for the three
o'clock train, and to keep his yawp calked up. So as soon as I hit
land again, there was the rig complete; we hopped in and started
a-coming at once and fast, and here we are; for which I raise
thanks, and all the curses of the Mormon gods be on the head of the
man that gets me into such a play as this again! Snake old Aleck
out and get the misery done with. That minister's chargin' me
fifty cents an hour, and I don't know whether he's the real