concern.

"'An' now,' says she, beginning to weep, 'I'd camped in that mill,
an' I was only for steppin' out to git a bit of a stick to cook me
soopper, an' I was on me way back, when a-r-rur-BOOMP! it ses, an'
where's the five hoondred dollars that I left there, I dunno?
Agghh woosha-woosha the day, ye divils, ye! An' me hoopled t'rough
the air like a ol' hat--bad cess to yer ugly faces! The cuss o'
Crom'll lie heavy on ye for mistreatin' a poor, lone widdy woman!'

"'Well, ma'am,' says I, 'I wouldn't take the loss of the money to
heart. When the gentleman sees your face he won't care.' Usually,
you can kinder edge around the rough places with that game of talk.
But it didn't go here.

"'Aggh, g'wan, ye bald-headed ol' pepper-mint lozenger!' she
hollers. 'D'ye s'pose I niwer see a lookin'-glass? Where's the
man'll marry me widout me money? "Me face is me forchune, sor,"
sez she. "Tek it to the gravel bank an' have it cashed, then," sez
he. Where's the man that'll have me, face an' all, lackin' the
coin? Woora, woora, answer me that!'

"Well, as usual, it was up to me. There wasn't no escapin' it. A
man might just as well meet his fate smilin' as trailin' his lip on
the ground, for my experiences teaches, dear friends and brothers,
that Fate just naturally don't care a wooden-legged tinker's dam.

"'Madam,' says I, removin' my hat and bowin', 'the honorable name
of Scraggs is at your disposal.'

"'Eh?' says she. 'What's that you're sayin'?'

"'I repeat, plainly and sadly, ma'am, that one-fourteenth of my
heart and hands is at your disposal.'

"'Heh?' says she again. 'An' what's the one-foorteeneth mane?'

"'I have now,' I replies, 'thirteen wives--'Before I could get
another word out she was ra'rin.'

"'Oh!' she yells, 'ye villyan! Ye long-legged blaggard! Ye
hairless ol' scoundrel of the world! How dast ye?' She begun
lookin' around for a club, so I talked fast.

"'It's my religion, ma'am,' says I. 'I'm a Mormon by profession,
mixed with accident. Think a minute before you do somethin'
that'll cause general regret.'

"'Well,' she says, calmin' down, 'is there e'er an Oirish leddy in
the lot?'

"'Not one, up till this joyful present,' I answers. 'I don't
rightly know what country they hail from, but I can truthfully add
that I'm not thinkin' of takin' up homestead rights there.'

"'Aggh, g'long wid yer jokin',' says she, as kittenish as anything.
'Yer only foolin', ye are.' "'M