"HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF THIS PLACE?"

"It seems to me," remarked the President one day while reading, over
some of the appealing telegrams sent to the War Department by General
McClellan, "that McClellan has been wandering around and has sort of
got lost. He's been hollering for help ever since he went South--wants
somebody to come to his deliverance and get him out of the place he's
got into.

"He reminds me of the story of a man out in Illinois who, in company
with a number of friends, visited the State penitentiary. They wandered
all through the institution and saw everything, but just about the time
to depart this particular man became separated from his friends and
couldn't find his way out.

"He roamed up and down one corridor after another, becoming more
desperate all the time, when, at last, he came across a convict who was
looking out from between the bars of his cell-door. Here was salvation
at last. Hurrying up to the prisoner he hastily asked,

"'Say! How do you get out of this place?"

"TAD" INTRODUCES "OUR FRIENDS."

President Lincoln often avoided interviews with delegations representing
various States, especially when he knew the objects of their errands,
and was aware he could not grant their requests. This was the case with
several commissioners from Kentucky, who were put off from day to day.

They were about to give up in despair, and were leaving the White House
lobby, their speech being interspersed with vehement and uncomplimentary
terms concerning "Old Abe," when "Tad" happened along. He caught at
these words, and asked one of them if they wanted to see "Old Abe,"
laughing at the same time.

"Yes," he replied.

"Wait a minute," said "Tad," and rushed into his father's office. Said
he, "Papa, may I introduce some friends to you?"

His father, always indulgent and ready to make him happy, kindly said,
"Yes, my son, I will see your friends."

"Tad" went to the Kentuckians again, and asked a very dignified looking
gentleman of the party his name. He was told his name. He then said,
"Come, gentlemen," and they followed him.

Leading them up to the President, "Tad," with much dignity, said, "Papa,
let me introduce to you Judge ----, of Kentucky;" and quickly added,
"Now Judge, you introduce the other gentlemen."

The introductions were gone through with, and they turned out to be the
gentlemen Mr. Lincoln had been avoiding for a week. Mr. Lincoln reached
for the boy, took