usion.

Then he wrote a few words which the old man read, and in which he found
new occasion for tears; but the tears were tears of joy, for the words
saved the life of his son.

LINCOLN PRONOUNCED THIS STORY FUNNY.

The President was heard to declare one day that the story given below
was one of the funniest he ever heard.

One of General Fremont's batteries of eight Parrott guns, supported by
a squadron of horse commanded by Major Richards, was in sharp conflict
with a battery of the enemy near at hand. Shells and shot were flying
thick and fast, when the commander of the battery, a German, one of
Fremont's staff, rode suddenly up to the cavalry, exclaiming, in loud
and excited terms, "Pring up de shackasses! Pring up de shackasses! For
Cot's sake, hurry up de shackasses, im-me-di-ate-ly!"

The necessity of this order, though not quite apparent, will be more
obvious when it is remembered that "shackasses" are mules, carry
mountain howitzers, which are fired from the backs of that much-abused
but valuable animal; and the immediate occasion for the "shackasses"
was that two regiments of rebel infantry were at that moment discovered
ascending a hill immediately behind our batteries.

The "shackasses," with the howitzers loaded with grape and canister,
were soon on the ground.

The mules squared themselves, as they well knew how, for the shock.

A terrific volley was poured into the advancing column, which
immediately broke and retreated.

Two hundred and seventy-eight dead bodies were found in the ravine next
day, piled closely together as they fell, the effects of that volley
from the backs of the "shackasses."

JOKE WAS ON LINCOLN.

Mr. Lincoln enjoyed a joke at his own expense. Said he: "In the days
when I used to be in the circuit, I was accosted in the cars by a
stranger, who said, 'Excuse me, sir, but I have an article in my
possession which belongs to you.' 'How is that?' I asked, considerably
astonished.

"The stranger took a jackknife from his pocket. 'This knife,' said he,
'was placed in my hands some years ago, with the injunction that I was
to keep it until I had found a man uglier than myself. I have carried
it from that time to this. Allow me to say, sir, that I think you are
fairly entitled to the property.'"

THE OTHER ONE WAS WORSE.

It so happened that an official of the War Department had escaped
serious punishment for a rather flagrant offense, by showing where
gro