husband and his Confederate wife couldn't agree upon
anything, being forever fussing and quarreling.

"It's the same thing with the Army. It doesn't seem worth while to
secure divorces and then marry the Army and McClellan to others, for
they won't get along any better than they do now, and there'll only be a
new set of heartaches started. I think we'd better wait; perhaps a real
fighting general will come along some of these days, and then we'll
all be happy. If you go to mixing in a mix-up, you only make the muddle
worse."

"LONG ABE'S" FEET "PROTRUDED OVER."

George M. Pullman, the great sleeping-car builder, once told a joke in
which Lincoln was the prominent figure. In fact, there wouldn't have
been any joke had it not been for "Long Abe." At the time of the
occurrence, which was the foundation for the joke--and Pullman admitted
that the latter was on him--Pullman was the conductor of his only
sleeping-car. The latter was an experiment, and Pullman was doing
everything possible to get the railroads to take hold of it.

"One night," said Pullman in telling the story, "as we were about going
out of Chicago--this was long before Lincoln was what you might call
a renowned man--a long, lean, ugly man, with a wart on his cheek, came
into the depot. He paid me fifty cents, and half a berth was assigned
him. Then he took off his coat and vest and hung them up, and they
fitted the peg about as well as they fitted him. Then he kicked off
his boots, which were of surprising length, turned into the berth, and,
undoubtedly having an easy conscience, was sleeping like a healthy baby
before the car left the depot.

"Pretty soon along came another passenger and paid his fifty cents. In
two minutes he was back at me, angry as a wet hen.

"'There's a man in that berth of mine,' said he, hotly, 'and he's about
ten feet high. How am I going to sleep there, I'd like to know? Go and
look at him.'

"In I went--mad, too. The tall, lank man's knees were under his
chin, his arms were stretched across the bed and his feet were stored
comfortably--for him. I shook him until he awoke, and then told him if
he wanted the whole berth he would have to pay $1.

"'My dear sir,' said the tall man, 'a contract is a contract. I have
paid you fifty cents for half this berth, and, as you see, I'm occupying
it. There's the other half,' pointing to a strip about six inches wide.
'Sell that and don't disturb me again.'

"And so saying, the