ing her husband aside, she demanded my business.

"'Nothing, madame,' I answered as gently as possible; 'I merely dropped
in as I came along to see how things were going.'

"'Well, you needn't wait,' was the reply in an irritated way; 'there's
trouble here, an' lots of it, too, but I kin manage my own affairs
without the help of outsiders. This is jest a family row, but I'll teach
these brats their places ef I hev to lick the hide off ev'ry one of
them. I don't do much talkin', but I run this house, an' I don't want no
one sneakin' round tryin' to find out how I do it, either.'

"That's the case here with us," the President said in conclusion. "We
must let the other nations know that we propose to settle our family
row in our own way, and 'teach these brats their places' (the seceding
States) if we have to 'lick the hide off' of each and every one of them.
And, like the old woman, we don't want any 'sneakin' 'round' by other
countries who would like to find out how we are to do it, either.

"Now, Seward, you write some diplomatic notes to that effect."

And the Cabinet session closed.

DIDN'T EVEN NEED STILTS.

As the President considered it his duty to keep in touch with all the
improvements in the armament of the vessels belonging to the United
States Navy, he was necessarily interested in the various types of these
floating fortresses. Not only was it required of the Navy Department to
furnish seagoing warships, deep-draught vessels for the great rivers and
the lakes, but this Department also found use for little gunboats which
could creep along in the shallowest of water and attack the Confederates
in by-places and swamps.

The consequence of the interest taken by Mr. Lincoln in the Navy was
that he was besieged, day and night, by steamboat contractors, each one
eager to sell his product to the Washington Government. All sorts of
experiments were tried, some being dire failures, while others were more
than fairly successful. More than once had these tiny war vessels proved
themselves of great service, and the United States Government had a
large number of them built.

There was one particular contractor who bothered the President more
than all the others put together. He was constantly impressing upon Mr.
Lincoln the great superiority of his boats, because they would run in
such shallow water.

"Oh, yes," replied the President, "I've no doubt they'll run anywhere
where the ground is a little moist!"