RVE. (In a new tone..) Look here--what's all this about?

LOOE. (Rising.) I will tell you at once what it is about, Mr. Shawn.
There is a question of Ilam Carve being buried in Westminster Abbey.

CARVE. (Thunderstruck.) Buried in Westminster Abbey?

LOOK. Lady Leonard Alcar has consulted me about the matter. I may say
that I have the honour to be her spiritual director. Probably you know
that Lord Leonard Alcar owns the finest collection of Ilam Carve's
pictures in Europe.

JANET. I've often wondered who it is that settles whether people shall
be buried in the Abbey or not. So it's Lady Leonard Alcar!

LOOE. Not exactly! Not exactly! But Lady Leonard Alcar is a great lady.
She has vast influence. The most influential convert to Catholicism of
the last thirty years. She is aunt to no less than four dukes, and Lord
Leonard is uncle to two others.

CARVE. (Ironically.) I quite see.

LOOE. (Eagerly.) You see--don't you? Her advice on these matters
carries enormous weight. A suggestion from her amounts to--to--

CARVE. A decree absolute.

JANET. (Simply.) Is she what they call the ruling classes?

LOOE. (Bows.) Lady Leonard and I have talked the matter over, and I
pointed out to her that if this great genius was a member of the Church
of England and if the sorrowing nation at large deems him worthy of the
supreme honour of a national funeral, then by all means let him be
buried in the Abbey. But if he was a Catholic, then I claim him for
Westminster Cathedral, that magnificent fane which we have raised as a
symbol of our renewed vitality. Now, was he a member of the Church of
England?

CARVE. (Loudly.) Decidedly not.

LOOE. Good! Then I claim him. I detest casuistry and I claim him. I have
only one other question. You knew him well--intimately--for many years.
On your conscience, Mr. Shawn, what interment in your opinion would he
himself have preferred?

JANET. (After a pause.) It wouldn't make much difference to him either
way, would it?

CARVE. (With an outburst.) The whole thing is preposterous.

LOOE. (Ignoring the outburst.) My course seems quite clear. I shall
advise Lady Leonard--

CARVE. Don't you think you're rather young to be in sole charge of this
country?

LOOE. (Smoothly.) My dear sir, I am nothing but a humble priest who
gives counsel when counsel is sought. And I may say that in this affair
of the interment of our great national painter, there are other
influences than mine. For instanc