as--er--Harry Lauder?

PASCOE. (Shakes his head.) You mustn't go to extremes.

CARVE. Is he as famous as Harry Vardon?

PASCOE. Never heard of him.

CARVE. I only see these names in the papers. Is he as famous as Bernard
Shaw?

PASCOE. Yes, I should say he was.

CARVE. Oh, well that's not so bad. Better than I thought! It's so
difficult to judge where one is--er--personally concerned. Especially if
you're never on the spot.

PASCOE. So it's true Mr. Carve never comes to England?

CARVE. Why should he come to England? He isn't a portrait painter. It's
true he owns this house, but surely that isn't sufficient excuse for
living in a place like England?

PASCOE. Of course, if you look at it like that, there's no particular
attractiveness in England that I've ever seen. But that answer wouldn't
satisfy Redcliffe Gardens. Redcliffe Gardens is persuaded that there
must be a special reason.

CARVE. Well, there is.

PASCOE. (Interested, in spite of himself.) Indeed!

CARVE. (Confidentially.) Have a cigarette? (Offering case.)

PASCOE. (Staggered anew, but accepting.) That's a swagger case.

CARVE. Oh! (Calmly.) He gave it me.

PASCOE. Really?

CARVE. Well, you see we're more like brothers--been together so long. He
gives me his best suits too. Look at this waistcoat. (Motions the
hypnotised PASCOE to take a chair. They light their cigarettes.)

(Enter HORNING.)

PASCOE. (Somewhat impatient.) He's not worse already?

HORNING. Where's that brandy and water?

PASCOE. Be careful. He's had about enough of that.

HORNING. Seeing I've had no dinner yet--I thought it might suit me.
(Exit with tumbler.)

PASCOE. (To Carve with renewed eagerness.) So there is a special
reason why you keep out of England.

CARVE. Yes--shyness.

PASCOE. How--shyness?

CARVE. Just simple shyness. Shyness is a disease with the governor, a
perfect disease.

PASCOE. But everyone's shy. The more experience I get the more convinced
I am that we're all shy. Why, you were shy when you came to fetch me!

CARVE. Did you notice it?

PASCOE. Of course. And I was shy when I came in here. I was thinking to
myself, "Now I'm going to see the great Ilam Carve actually in the
flesh," and I was shy. You'd think my profession would have cured me of
being shy, but not a bit. Nervous disease, of course! Ought to be
treated as such. Almost universal. Besides, even if he is shy, your
governor--even if he's a hundredfold shy, that's no reason