hey did this to avoid the Entertainment Tax has now been
contradicted.

***

"The American Winston Churchill," says _The Daily Express_, "has to
plod through life without a middle name." We all have our little cross
to bear. Even the MINISTER OF MUNITIONS has to plod through life with
the knowledge that there is another Winston Churchill loose about the
world.

***

It is proposed that Parliament shall sit from 10 A.M. to 5 P.M.,
instead of from 3 to 11 P.M. We do not care for this crude attempt to
mix business with politics.

***

The Boundary Commission Report advocates the creation of thirty-one
new M.P.'s. It will be a bitter disappointment for those who were
sanguine enough to hope that Redistribution would spell Reform.

***

The Government has commandeered all stocks of rum. The rigours of war,
it seems, must be suffered even by our little tots.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Wit._ "AH, NOW YOU'RE FOR IT, ALBERT?"

_Tractor-Driver._ "WOT'S THE MATTER?"

_The Wit._ "WHY, YOU'VE BEEN AND GONE AND COME ON PARADE WITHOUT
YOUR SPURS."]

* * * * *

"The bridegroom, 6 ft. 35 ins. in height, was wearing the
full-dress uniform of a captain in the Army."--_Great
Yarmouth Independent_.

He would need it all.

* * * * *

Headline to a description of a recent push:--

"VONDERFUL RESULTS."--_Evening Paper_.

The "Hidden Hand" in the composing-room?

* * * * *

THE INNOCENTS ABROAD.

["Stedfastness and righteousness are the qualities which the
German people value in the highest degree, and which have brought
it a good and honourable reputation in the whole world. When we
make experiments in lies and deception, intrigue and low cunning,
we suffer hopeless and brutal failure. Our lies are coarse and
improbable, our ambiguity is pitiful simplicity. The history
of the War proves this by a hundred examples. When our enemies
poured all these things upon us like a hailstorm, and we convinced
ourselves of the effectiveness of such tactics, we tried to
imitate them. But these tactics will not fit the German. We are
rough but moral, we are credulous but honest."--_Herr DERNBURG, in
"Deutsche Politik."_]

In Eden bowers, so fair to see,
There dwelt, when sin was yet to be,
A guileless