istribution Bureau, shared the chief honours of the
evening.

T.

* * * * *

"The views expressed by Mr. Roosevelt are crystallising
everywhere, and are bearing excellent fruit."--_Daily Paper._

How does he get his sugar?

* * * * *

"Two million troubles are now standing to Koslovsky's account
in Petrograd banks."--_Rangitikei Advocate (N.Z.)._

We knew conditions were very trying in Russia, but had no idea any one
man had such a burden as this.

* * * * *

RHYMES FOR THE TIMES.

There was a false Pasha named BOLO,
Who sank in iniquity so low.
That the dirtiest work
Of the Hun and the Turk
Never made him ejaculate _Nolo!_

There was a stout fellow called YAPP,
A great Red Triangular chap;
Now he's working still harder
To stock the State larder,
And never has time for a nap.

The manners and customs of Clare
Have long been admittedly "quare,"
But the tolerance shown
To sedition full-blown
Is enough to make CADBURY swear.

Politicians unstable and vague
May well take example from HAIG,
Who talks to the Huns
In the voice of his guns
Till they dread him far worse than the plague.

Renowned for her fine macaroni,
And also for Signor MARCONI,
Now Italy sends,
To enrapture her friends,
(And to finish these rhymes), the Caproni.

* * * * *

MISSING.

"He was last seen going over the parapet into the German
trenches."

What did you find after war's fierce alarms,
When the kind earth gave you a resting place,
And comforting night gathered you in her arms,
With light dew falling on your upturned face?

Did your heart beat, remembering what had been?
Did you still hear around you, as you lay,
The wings of airmen sweeping by unseen,
The thunder of the guns at close of day?

All nature stoops to guard your lonely bed;
Sunshine and rain fall with their calming breath;
You need no pall, so young and newly dead,
Where the Lost Legion triumphs over death.

When with the morrow's dawn the bugle blew,
For the first time it summoned you in vain;
The Last Post does not sound for such as you;
But God's Reveille wakens you again.

* * * * *

SUGAR.

"Francesca," I said, "you must be very deeply occupied