ackberries are looking after the rain!

But I couldn't draw Petherton's fire again, for his gun had been
knocked out by this direct hit.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Excitable Lady (describing to wounded Tommies the
appearance of a bomb-hole on the London Front)._ "You could have
buried a horse in it. You never saw such a thing in your life!"]

* * * * *

SUGAR CONTROL.

Thanks to the new sugar regulations we now expect half a pound of
sugar per head per week instead of half a pound of sugar per head
per-haps.

* * * * *

"HOGS STILL SOARING."
_Headline in Canadian Paper._

The shortage of petrol seems to have driven them from the roads.

* * * * *

"Sir John Hare declares that there is no truth in the statement
that he is saying '----' to the stage."--_Bournemouth Echo._

Personally, we never believed that he would be guilty of such
language.

* * * * *

"The only thing which will actually bring peace is an army of
occupation standing on its own flat feet, either in Germany or
on the German frontier."--_Weekly Dispatch._

But why this preference for the flat-footed? Are not the hammer-toed
to have a chance?

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE DANCE OF DEATH.

THE KAISER. "STOP! STOP! I'M TIRED."

DEATH. "I STARTED AT YOUR BIDDING; I STOP WHEN I CHOOSE."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Officer_. "I SAY--LOOK HERE. I TOLD YOU TO GO TO
PADDINGTON, AND YOU'RE GOING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION."

_Taxi-Driver_. "ORL RIGHT--ORL RIGHT! YOU'RE LUCKY TO GET A CAB AT ALL
INSTEAD OF GRUMBLIN' ABAHT WHERE YER WANTS TER GO TO!"]

* * * * *

THE NEW MRS. MARKHAM.

CONVERSATION ON CHAPTER LX.

_Mary._ I wish, Mamma, that there were not so many shocking stories in
history.

_Mrs. M._ History is, indeed, a sad catalogue of human miseries, and
one is glad to turn aside from the horrors of war to the amenities of
private life. Shall I tell you something of the domestic habits of the
English in the early twentieth century?

_Mary._ Oh do, Mamma; I shall like that very much.

_Mrs. M._ The nobility and the well-to-do classes no longer lived
shut up in gloomy castles, but made a point of spending most of their
time in public. They never took