s head and think
fast if he was to come up with something plausible. The minute she found
out that the book was a fake, he would be dead meat, that was for sure.

"Okay. Well.... Let's see.... The first spiel--I mean, spell--is 'How to
Turn an Obnoxious Dial (or Socially Disadvantaged Countenance) into a
Reflection of Infinite Beauty.'"

"I haven't the faintest idea what you just said," snapped the Witch with
obvious annoyance. "Read it to me again. Wait. That won't do any good.
What do you think it means?"

Graham knew he had her hooked. "It is obviously a spell that will
transform you into the most beautiful creature to ever walk the face of
the earth."

"Oh, my," said the Witch-clone with obvious delight. "Well, let's get
started! What are you waiting for?"

Graham cleared his throat and began to "read" from the book:

"_Find a slimy little pickle.
Rub it with a shiny nickel.
Drop it in a Witch's hat.
Add seventeen eggs on top of that.
Top that off with a bowl of Jell-O
and spittle from a little fellow.
Add some sour cream and chives
and honey directly from the hives._

[Illustration]

_Now add one pint of strawberry jam
(preferably bought from Knott's Berry Farm).
Then bend thy head towards thy legs
and press said hat upon thy head.
Now stand and then induce a friend to pull it down
below thy crown.
Wait at least a half-an-hour.
Take off the hat and dust with flour.
Now look in the mirror and thou shalt see
none more lovelier than thee."_

"Oh, that does sound absolutely divine!" cried the Witch. "Quick! Help
me gather the materials together so we can start immediately."

Graham could hardly contain himself with the thought of the true results
of this experiment. And although he was going to use this opportunity to
escape, he almost wished he could stay to see the whole thing through.
He congratulated himself on his ability to create such an
authentic-sounding spell and for having the presence of mind to suggest
the half-hour lead time he would need in order to escape from the
castle. When everything was ready, Graham followed the spell to the
letter. And since he was the only little fellow around, he was the
obvious choice to provide the spittle for the concoction--which he did
with great delight.

As soon as he got to the part where he had to pull the Witch's hat down
over her head, he said, "I'll keep my eye on the clock and let you know
when the half hour