t, I really don't think
it's even possible for a human being to get back once he's here. The
only person I know of who ever did that was Dorothy Gale of Kansas. And
the reason I know that is that I run the movie every year and the end is
always the same. Dorothy clicks her heels together three times and says,
'There's no place like home, there's no place like home, et cetera,' and
she wakes up in her bed back in Kansas. Now, there's an idea! How about
we go and see Dorothy? She'll know how to get you back. Why didn't I
think of that first?"

"Wonderful!" the boy exclaimed. "I'm beginning to feel a lot better.
What is Dorothy doing now? Is she--" Graham's question was cut short by
a big, extremely loud popping sound and a cloud of smoke. When the smoke
cleared, who should be there but the Wicked Witch, grinning from ear to
ear and prancing up and down with excitement!

"Well, my little friend. Found you at last, haven't I? Loved your spell!
Oh, it was terrific! See how beautiful I look? DO YOU? DO YOU?" she
screamed, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. "Look at me. Look, I
say!" she yelled as she jerked his face to hers. "Do I look more
beautiful to you? Let's see. What was the last line of that spell ...
Oh, now I remember: Look in the mirror and you shall see, none more
beautiful than thee! You little liar. LIAR! Did you hear me?"

"How could I not?" asked Graham. "The way you're carrying on, I assume
there are people in Kansas who can hear you." But he cowered behind
Telly as he said so.

"Hello, my good woman," said Telly, holding out one of his peculiar
triangle-shaped arms. His handshake was not accepted by the wicked
woman. "Allow me to say that you are more exquisitely beautiful than any
of the television stars I've ever seen or heard of!" said the robotic
man. "And believe you me, I have run more Miss America beauty pageants
than you can shake a stick at. You are lovelier than any of those girls.
You are more innocently ravishing than Ginger Grant on Gilligan's
Island! You are the epitome of human grace and style! You make all other
women pale beside you!"

"Huh?" said the Witch, dropping Graham like a sack of potatoes. He
caught his breath and tried to stand up, but the Witch had put one of
her big, long feet on his chest to hold him down. "What are you talking
about, Tube-face?" the Witch asked of the television-person.

"I am just admiring your gorgeousness!" said Telly in a musical tone of
voice.