us Great PAYNE--yclept HARRY PAYNE, the good old
Conservative "JOEY."

If the possibilities, "_per variation et mutation_" of gorgeous modern
Pantomime, are exhausted--"which," as EUCLID observes, "is
impossible"--except we may "add a rider" (as the Clown in the Circle
might observe) that Pantomime is, in itself, a _reductio ad
absurdum_--then, perchance, Sir DRURIOLANUS MAGNIFICUS may give us next
Christmas a Shorter Opening, say ten Scenes, to be followed by six
Harlequinade Scenes, treating, by way of "Review," all the leading
topics of Ninety-Three. _Nous verrons_--at least, such is our hope. And
so a Prosperous New Year to Sir DRURIOLANUS, and all his works.

* * * * *

NOVEL, BUT NOT NEW.

(_A Story of Romance in Town and Country._)

SCENE I.--_Publisher's Sanctum._ Amateur Author _discovered
in consultation with_ Enterprising Publisher.

_Enterprising Publisher._ Yes, my dear Sir, I think, if you pay all the
expenses, we can see our way to giving _An Oppressed Ophelia_ a chance.

_Amateur Author._ You would not take a small risk?

_Ent. Publisher._ Why no, my dear Sir. I do not see how _An Oppressed
Ophelia_ can be made a safe investment without your entire assistance.
Possibly we may treat about your next novel, which I understand you to
say is called _An English Hamlet_, on other terms. In the meanwhile, let
us hope that _An Oppressed Ophelia_ will be successful.

[_Exeunt_ Author _and_ Publisher _severally._

SCENE II.--_The Same. Three months have passed._ Publisher _and_
Author _are discovered discussing the situation._

_Author (gloomily)._ And so you say that _An Oppressed Ophelia_ is a
dead failure?

_Publisher (more cheerfully)._ Yes, my dear Sir, but do not be
distressed. Thanks to my foresight, and your acquiescence in a
business-like arrangement, my firm has lost nothing by the transaction.

_Author (dryly)._ That I can readily understand! Well, I suppose you
have plenty of copies you can give back to me?

_Publisher._ Well, scarcely. You see the Londoners did not take up your
book very warmly; but we have made an arrangement to dispose of the rest
of the issue in the country at a considerable reduction.

_Author._ And _An English Hamlet_?

_Publisher._ We shall be glad to produce on the same terms!

[_Exeunt_ Author _and_ Publisher _severally._

SCENE III.--_Interior of the Circulating Library at
Slocum-Pogis-on-the-Stodge._