W. I. M._ And a good thing too. That kind of corruption only
flourishes under a Republican form of government. They want a strong man
in France, that's what they want.

_Average Man._ I don't believe much in your strong men. I suppose the
last Emperor was a pretty fair specimen; but they seem to have had some
high old ramps under him, too. Besides, look at Russia.

_First W. I. M._ You can't bring Russia forward as an example.

_Second W. I. M._ Of course not. Russia don't count.

_A. M._ Why not? I don't suppose you can make a man much stronger than
the CZAR; but, if we're to believe what we're told, the whole place is
honeycombed with corruption. Why--(_to_ First W. I. M.)--you were saying
yourself, only the other day, that Russia was corrupt to the core.

_First W. I. M._ Oh, but I was speaking of something quite different.
Russia is a country _per se_.

_Inquirer._ I thought Russia was an Autocracy.

_First W. I. M._ It's the same thing.

_Second W. I. M._ (_after a pause_). Well, anyhow, we in England haven't
done anything of the kind. You can't deny that.

_A. M._ No, we haven't done anything quite on the same scale lately, I
admit that. But we've done our best with worthless mines, and bogus
Companies of all kinds, and financial papers, and Building Societies.
Seems to me we've no right to chuck stones at poor old LESSEPS.

_Inquirer._ Is that the same old chap who did something in Egypt some
years ago?

_Second W. I. M._ (_smiling, and superior_). Yes, the very same. He made
the Suez Canal.

_Inquirer._ Of course--so he did. That was what we went to the Soudan
for, wasn't it?

_Second W. I. M._ (_dubiously_). Well, it had something to do with it,
of course. As we'd got four million pounds' worth of shares in the
Canal, we couldn't afford to see it upset. And then (_brightening_)
there was the Dual Control. That was really at the bottom of the whole
business.

_Inquirer._ The Dual Control? I don't remember what that was.

_Second W. I. M._ Why, don't you remember ARABI setting himself up
against the KHEDIVE? Well, naturally, we couldn't stand the two of them
playing their games there; so we just had to nip in, and smash old
ARABI.

_Inquirer._ Of course, I remember the whole business now; Khartoum, and
the MAHDI, and all the rest of it. [_A pause._

_Inquirer_ (_returning to the charge_). I wonder why they called it the
Panama Canal?

_First W. I. M._ Why shouldn't they? It happens to be i