ts name.

_Inquirer._ Yes, I know that's its name now. But why call it after a
straw hat?

_First W. I. M._ (_amazed_). After a _what_?

_Inquirer._ After a straw hat.

_First W. I. M._ (_calmly, but firmly_). It isn't called after a straw
hat. The straw hat's called after it. That's all.

_Inquirer_ (_dogged, and unconvinced_). Well, anyhow, I know I bought a
Panama hat last summer--and deuced expensive it was, too.

_First W. I. M._ My dear boy, it was made in Panama. Panama's a place.

_Inquirer._ Well, I'm dashed! I never knew that. But what on earth do
they want a Canal there for?

_First W. I. M._ Oh, well, I'm bound to admit it would be a convenience.
Just think how it would shorten the sea-route. Instead of having to go
all the way round Cape What's-his-name--what _is_ that blessed Cape's
name?

_Second W. I. M._ (_tentatively_). Cape of Good Hope?

_First W. I. M._ No, no--they're building the Nicaragua Canal for that.
Cape--Cape--why, dash it, I shall be forgetting my own name next!

_Inquirer_ (_brilliantly_). Capricorn.

_First W. I. M._ Yes, that's it! Well, instead of having to go all round
Cape Ricorn, all we've got to do is to sail to Panama, and--(_impotently
concluding_)--there we are!

_Second W. I. M._ Ah, but I don't think they'll ever finish it.

_First W. I. M._ I'm not so sure about that; but, of course, the French
couldn't do it.

_Second W. I. M._ Of course not. [_Terminus._

* * * * *

Illustration: "CREDE EXPERTO."

_Q.C._ "YES; I LIKE THE ARMY AS A PROFESSION. I MEAN TO PUT MY SON INTO
IT."

_Little Snooks_ (_who was Gazetted the week before last_). "AH, YOU TAKE
THE ADVICE OF A MAN WHO KNOWS ALL ABOUT IT--AND _DON'T!_"

* * * * *

VERY CIVIL LAW.

(_With Mr. Punch's Compliments to the London County Council._)

SCENE--_The Interior of the Court under the Patronage of the
London County Council._ Judge, _appointed according to the
popular view, discovered in the act of passing sentence._

_Judge._ Prisoner in the dock, or I should say, my good friend--for are
we not all liable to err?--I have no wish to increase the natural
embarrassment of your position. I am here, as you know, to dispense
judgment. This I tell you judicially. I am, when I make this statement,
merely the mouthpiece of the Law. In my private capacity, I am deeply
sorry for you.

_Prisoner_ (_much affected_). Thank you kindl