She made me cry!

Just let a cow lean over the gate
An' bellow, an' gran'ma--she
Will say her prayers, if it's soon or late,
An' shake her finger at me!
An' then, an' then you'll hear her say:
"It's a sign w'en the cattle act that way!
Oh, dear! Oh, my!
I'm certain 'at somebody's goin' to die!"
Oh, she makes me cry--
She makes me cry!

Skeeriest person you ever seen!
Always a-huntin' fer "signs";
Says it's "spirits" 'at's good, or mean,
If the wind jest shakes the vines!
I always feel skeery w'en gran'ma's aroun'--
An' think 'at I see things, an' jump at each soun':
"Oh, dear! Oh, my!
I'm certain 'at somebody's goin' to die!"
Oh, she makes me cry--
She makes me cry!

_The Only True and Reliable Account of_

THE GREAT PRIZE FIGHT,

_For $100,000, at
Seal Rock Point, on Sunday Last,
Between His Excellency Gov. Stanford and Hon.
F. F. Low, Governor Elect of California._

REPORTED BY SAMUEL L. CLEMENS

For the past month the sporting world has been in a state of feverish
excitement on account of the grand prize fight set for last Sunday
between the two most distinguished citizens of California, for a purse
of one hundred thousand dollars. The high social standing of the
competitors, their exalted position in the arena of politics, together
with the princely sum of money staked upon the issue of the combat, all
conspired to render the proposed prize fight a subject of extraordinary
importance, and to give it an eclat never before vouchsafed to such a
circumstance since the world began. Additional lustre was shed upon the
coming contest by the lofty character of the seconds or bottle-holders
chosen by the two champions, these being no other than Judge Field (on
the part of Gov. Low), Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the
United States, and Hon. Wm. M. Stewart (commonly called "Bill Stewart,"
or "Bullyragging Bill Stewart"), of the city of Virginia, the most
popular as well as the most distinguished lawyer in Nevada Territory,
member of the Constitutional Convention, and future U. S. Senator for
the state of Washoe, as I hope and believe--on the part of Gov.
Stanford. Principals and seconds together, it is fair to presume that
such an array of talent was never entered for a combat of this
description upon any previous occasion.

Stewart and Field had their men in