lady goes to turn up one lamp and the other promptly
glows instead; or when, a particularly obvious and commonplace knock
assaulting the ear, she exclaims in tragic accents, "There's someone
at the door;" or when the detective drags from the bottom of the lake
a pair of the driest of dry old boots.

Or, if you are superior to this kind of thing, you can amuse yourself
by deducing from the practice before you the famous _Rules for
Revolvers_, which, _mutatis mutandis_, are as old as the Aristotelian
unities and, for all I (or, probably, you) know to the contrary, were
laid down at the same time by the same hand.

_Rule 1._ "All Innocent Characters expecting murderous assault
from Particularly Desperate Villains will provide themselves with
revolvers. Before retiring for the tragic night they will, grasping
the revolver firmly in the right hand, place it carefully (as
Professor LEACOCK would direct) on the revolver-stand. The P.D.V.
will then know what to do about it. (_Note_: P.D.V.'s do not carry
revolvers. They don't need to.)

_Rule 2._ "I.C.'s actually attacking P.D.V.'s will on no account fire,
but, advancing stealthily, will offer their pistol-wrist to the enemy,
who will at once lock it in a deathly grip. After a brief struggle,
swaying this way and that, the P.D.V. will, on the word 'Four,' put on
another beard and have the I.C. thrown into prison." And so forth.

I have no serious fault to find with these tactics. On the contrary.
But I rather think that in the first Act an incident was introduced
(no doubt in the spirit of the little girl's explanation _a propos_ of
her riddle, "That was just put in to make it more difficult"), which
was not quite cricket as it is played by the best people in these
stage shockers.

But I am on dangerous grounds. Let me say that Mr. HANNAFORD BENNETT
has been distinctly ingenious in his adaptation from M. GASTON
LEROUX'S hectic feuilleton; that Miss SYBIL THORNDIKE put in a much
finer quality of work than is usually supplied with this kind of
heroine; that Miss DAISY MARKHAM as her friend played very gaily
and prettily as long as the situation allowed it, and that Messrs.
FRANKLIN DYALL, LEWIS CASSON, NICHOLAS HANNEN, ARTHUR PUSEY, MAJOR
JONES, COLSTON MANSELL and the Prompter all did notable work.

T.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Joseph Rouletabille_ (Mr. ARTHUR PUSEY) to _Frederic
Larsan_ (Mr. FRANKLIN DYALL). "FATHER, I AM A JOURNALIST