ugh (Mollie has brought her to
tea often) who signs herself "Norah O'Brien," and winds up delightful
irrelevances about DARWIN and her abhorrence of reptiles with a
personal appeal to the examiner. I do not know what other examiners do
in such cases. It was a beautifully worded and most respectful appeal.
I decided to give her forty for Norah and forty for O'Brien. Both
names have always appealed to me.

This made it necessary for me to give eighty marks to her sister
Kathleen, who wrote really an excellent essay on a subject we had
stupidly forgotten to set. It was an excellent subject, and she has
even browner eyes than Norah, but as an examiner one must be rigid and
impartial.

Eunice came next. This name recalled dear memories of the past and of
what might have been. But as an examiner I could not let old dreams
weigh down my impartial scales, so I refused to give her more than
eighty. Finally, for they are really charming girls and know far more
about literature than I do, I gave eighty to everybody except Mollie,
and for being Mollie I gave her eighty-two.

I forgot. There was one perfectly horrid little girl called Katie de
Pinnock. She never shared her chocolates with anyone; the fact was
notorious. She wrote in a copperplate hand sentiments like
these: "MILTON awes me; SHELLEY thrills me; BLAKE, the prophet of
self-sacrifice, is ever my consolation and my guide. I ask for nothing
beyond." I gave her nineteen.

And now comes the tragedy. Miss Penn-Cushing's letter of thanks
was icy. She feared I had been "a thought nepotic," and (with my
permission) she would revise my marks.

She dealt me the final blow at our Speech-Day. "I have decided," she
gave out, "to award the first prize in Literature to Miss Katie de
Pinnock. I am sure, though, that you will not be surprised to hear
that Mr. Marcus O'Reilly, our examiner, was so impressed with the
literary excellence of all your papers that he has presented the whole
class with consolation prizes. We tender him our heartiest thanks."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Farmer._ "EH, LUCY, THESE MOVING STAIRS DO BE VINE
THINGS VOR SAVING VOLK'S TIME."]

* * * * *

Commercial Candour.

Extract from a Canadian business-circular:--

"What intelligent car owners have been looking for is a tire
that will give them a minimum amount of service for a maximum
amount of expenditure. You can get that