I didn't want to ride inside the car
and have to associate with a wealthy porter who looked down upon me. I
am the man who was found down the creek the next day gathering wild
ferns and murmuring, "Where am I?"

The play of "Julius Caesar" is one which brings out the meanness and
magnetism of Cassius, and emphasizes the mistaken patriotism of Brutus.
It is full of pathos, duplicity, assassination, treachery, erroneous
loyalty, suicide, hypocrisy, and all the intrigue, jealousy, cowardice
and deviltry which characterized the politics of fifty years B. C., but
which now, thanks to the enlightenment and refinement which twenty
centuries have brought, are known no more forever. Let us not forget,
as we enter upon the year 1888, that it is a Presidential year, and that
all acrimony will be buried under the dew and the daisies, and that no
matter how high party spirit may run, there will be no personal
enmity.

His First Womern

[Illustration]

I buried my first womern
In the spring; and in the fall
I was married to my second,
And haint settled yit at all?--
Fer I'm allus thinkin'--thinkin'
Of the first one's peaceful ways,
A-bilin' soap and singin'
Of the Lord's amazin' grace.

And I'm thinkin' of her, constant,
Dyin' carpet-chain and stuff,
And a-makin' up rag-carpets,
When the floor was good enough!
And I mind her he'p a-feedin'
And I recollect her now
A-drappin' corn, and keepin'
Clos't behind me and the plow!

And I'm allus thinkin' of her
Reddin' up around the house;
Er cookin' fer the farm-hands;
Er a-drivin' up the cows.--
And there she lays out yender
By the lower medder-fence,
Where the cows was barely grazin',
And they're usin' ever sence.

And when I look acrost there--
Say its when the clover's ripe,
And I'm settin', in the evenin',
On the porch here, with my pipe,
And the _other'n_ hollers "Henry!"--
W'y, they ain't no sadder thing
Than to think of my first womern
And her funeral last spring
Was a year ago.

This Man Jones

This man Jones was what you'd call
A feller 'at had no sand at all:
Kindo consumpted, and undersize,
And saller-complected, with big sad eyes,
And a kind-of-a-sort-of-a-hang-dog style,
And a sneakin' kind-of-a-half-way sm