om and wait for people to come and feel my pulse. In the
afternoon I lie down on a lounge for two or three hours, wondering in
what way I can endear myself to the laboring man. I then dine heartily
at my club. In the evening I go to see the amateurs play "Pygmalion and
Galatea." As I remain till the play is over, any one can see that I am a
very robust man. After I get home I write two or three thousand words in
my diary. I then insert myself into the bosom of my piano and sleep,
having first removed my clothes and ironed my trousers for future
reference.

In closing, let me urge one and all to renewed effort. The prospects for
a speedy and unqualified victory at the polls were never more roseate.
Let us select a man upon whom we can all unite, a man who has no venom
in him, a man who has successfully defied and trampled on the infamous
Interstate Commerce act, a man who, though in the full flush and pride
and bloom and fluff of life's meridian, still disdains to present his
name to the convention.

Lines

ON HEARING A COW BAWL, IN A DEEP FIT OF DEJECTION, ON THE EVENING OF
JULY 3, A. D. 18--

[Illustration]

Portentous sound! mysteriously vast
And awful in the grandeur of refrain
That lifts the listener's hair, as it swells past,
And pours in turbid currents down the lane.

The small boy at the woodpile, in a dream
Slow trails the meat-rind o'er the listless saw;
The chickens roosting o'er him on the beam
Uplifted their drowsy heads with cootered awe.

The "Gung-oigh" of the pump is strangely stilled;
The smoke-house door bangs once emphatic'ly,
Then bangs no more, but leaves the silence filled
With one lorn plaint's despotic minstrelsy.

Yet I would join thy sorrowing madrigal,
Most melancholy cow, and sing of thee
Full-hearted through my tears, for, after all
'Tis very kine of you to sing for me.

Me and Mary

All my feelin's, in the spring
Gits so blame contrary
I can't think of anything
Only me and Mary!
"Me and Mary!" all the time,
"Me and Mary!" like a rhyme
Keeps a-dinging on till I'm
Sick o' "Me and Mary!"

"Me and Mary! Ef us two
Only was together--
Playin' like we used to do
In the Aprile weather!"
All the night and all the day
I keep wishin' thataway
Till I'm gittin' old and gray