dear old-fashioned tune,
Through "Lewis Carroll's" poemly prose,
And the tale of "The Bold Dragoon."

O, this is the Prince that I would sing--
Would drape and garnish in velvet line
Since courtlier far than any king
Is this brave boy-friend of mine!

A Letter of Acceptance

The secretary of the Ashfield Farmer's Club, of Ashfield, Mass., Mr. E.
D. Church, informs me by United States mail that upon receipt of my
favorable reply I will become an honorary member of that Club, along
with George William Curtis, Prof. Norton, Prof. Stanley Hall, of
Harvard, and other wet-browed toilers in the catnip-infested domain of
Agriculture.

I take this method of thanking the Ashfield Farmers' Club, through its
secretary, for the honor thus all so unworthily bestowed, and joyfully
accept the honorary membership, with the understanding, however, that
during the County Fair the solemn duty of delivering the annual address
from the judges' stand, in tones that will not only ring along down the
corridors of time, but go thundering three times around a half-mile
track and be heard above the rhythmic plunk of the hired man who is
trying to ascertain, by means of a large mawl and a thumping machine,
how hard he can strike, shall fall upon Mr. Curtis or other honorary
members of the club. I have a voice that does very well to express
endearment, or other subdued emotions, but it is not effective at a
County Fair. Spectators see the wonderful play of my features, but they
only hear the low refrain of the haughty Clydesdale steed, who has a
neighsal voice and wears his tail in a Grecian coil. I received $150
once for addressing a race-track one mile in length on "The Use and
Abuse of Ensilage as a Narcotic." I made the gestures, but the
sentiments were those of the four-ton Percheron charger, Little
Medicine, dam Eloquent.

[Illustration]

I spoke under a low shed and rather adverse circumstances. In talking
with the committee afterwards, as I wrapped up my gestures and put them
back in the shawl strap, I said that I felt almost ashamed to receive
such a price for the sentiments of others, but they said that was all
right. No one expected to hear an Agricultural Address. They claimed
that it was most generally purely spectacular, and so they regarded my
speech as a great success. I used the same gestures afterwards in
speaking of "The Great Falling Off among Bare-Back Riders in the
Circuses