. But you see Sally wouldn't--you know what Sally _is_. No,
she's never got over that old affair. Southern women are so romantic.
Yes, I'll bring dear little Betty with me if it won't tire you.
She----"

Then I began to think I ought to let her know I was there, for one
hates to eavesdrop. So I yelled at the top of my lungs that I was in
the hall, waiting to go to breakfast, and couldn't help hearing every
word she said. However, she didn't mind a bit, and called to me to come
into the telephone room.

"I'm talking to a friend of mine who has just been moved back to her
own apartment after getting over appendicitis," she explained. "Poor
thing, she's such an indefatigable society woman, and she does so hate
being stuck in the city at this season. I've just been promising to run
in and see her this afternoon, and I'd like to take you if you'll go.
She'd love to see you. I'll introduce you now by 'phone."

With that, she began to chat into the thing again, in a chummy sort of
way which seemed quite uncanny, as I have always looked upon a
telephone as an official kind of machine which you prepared for with
fasting and prayer, and only had recourse to when strictly necessary
for important business. "Here's Lady Betty," said Mrs. Ess Kay. "I'm
going to introduce you. Now, Betty, take hold of the----"

"Oh, I can't. I don't know how. I never did," I objected, feeling as if
she were going to force me into taking gas against my will.

She would have me try, so I did, as it's very difficult to oppose Mrs.
Ess Kay even in the smallest thing. But I couldn't hear a word, only a
horrid buzzing, so she had to let me off, and just tell me that the
lady we were to call on was Mrs. Harvey Richmount Taylour.

"If you're going to stay long in America, you'll have to get used to
the 'phone," said she. "We do half our shopping, and some of our
calling, and make about all our appointments that way. If we didn't,
there'd be more cases of nervous prostration than there _are_, and
goodness knows there are enough now, even since Blue Rays have come in.
Many love affairs are carried on practically entirely by 'phone, and
I've heard that in case of necessity, marriage ceremonies can be
performed by it."

"How about divorces?" I asked. And I was quite serious, but Mrs. Ess
Kay didn't seem to think the question worth an answer. So she switched
off her friend, and rang up two or three tradespeople of whom she
ordered scent, and chocolates, an