* * * * *

There were so many splendid things to have, to wear, and to eat,
advertised in the same kind, fatherly way, that I felt as if I had
unconsciously yearned for each one of them more than for anything else
in my life, and now it had been put into my head in all its fatal
fascination, I couldn't possible exist another day without sending for
it, to one in that procession of noble, self-sacrificing, American
advertisers. I felt, too, that if anything disagreeable should happen
to me, like a railway or motor car accident, I could spend the rest of
my existence lying down, and still the splendid things would come
running to me, if I just 'phoned or flung a stamp into space.

I mentioned something of the sort to Sally. "I wonder they don't offer
to choose you a husband," said I. "I didn't know advertisements could
be so interesting."

"What about your own?" she asked. "They're a hundred times quainter."

I thought hard about the _Morning Post_ and _The Queen_, but couldn't
remember anything extraordinary in the advertising line, and said so.

"Perhaps you, being English, don't see anything extraordinary about a
clergyman's wife offering to exchange a canary bird for six months'
subscription to _Punch_; or the widow of an officer earnestly desiring
an idiot lady to board with her; or a decayed gentlewoman inviting the
public to give her five pounds; but we, being American, _do_," replied
Sally. "Why, I'd rather read the advertisements in some of your morning
papers and ladies' weeklies than I would eat."

"Talking of eating, it's lunch-time," said Potter. "There'll be a big
menagerie feeding in the dining-car, but there's no good waiting for it
to finish, as then there'll be no food left."

So we took his suggestion; and there was a crowd, but he had secured a
table for four, and we squeezed ourselves into the places.

I have travelled abroad with Mother and Vic, where there were Americans
in the dining-car, and they have been cross because they didn't get
served quickly and they have said things. But in this car going to
Newport, you forgot what you had had last before the next course came,
yet nobody seemed to mind. They were as patient as lambs, and simply
took what was given them when they could get it, although they looked
as if they were used to everything very nice at home. I suppose it must
have been because they were all Americans together, eating American
things, wi