out the calf's hide for them to lick, some time before milking
them; it retains its effect for a week or more. Messrs. Huc and Gabet
give the following graphic account of this contrivance, as applied to
restive cows:--"These long-tailed cows are so restive and difficult to
milk, that, to keep them at all quiet, the herdsman has to give them a
calf to lick meanwhile. But for this device, not a single drop of milk
could be obtained from them. One day a Lama herdsman, who lived in the
same house with ourselves, came, with a long dismal face, to announce
that his cow had calved during the night, and that unfortunately the calf
was dying. It died in the course of the day. The Lama forthwith skinned
the poor beast, and stuffed it with hay. This proceeding surprised us at
first, for the Lama had by no means the air of a man likely to give
himself the luxury of a cabinet of natural history. When the operation
was completed, we observed that the hay-calf had neither feet nor head;
whereupon it occurred to us that, after all, it was perhaps a pillow that
the Lama contemplated. We were in error; but the error was not dissipated
till the next morning, when our herdsman went to milk his cow. Seeing him
issue forth--the pail in one hand, the hay-calf under the other arm--the
fancy occurred to us to follow him. His first proceeding was to put the
hay-calf down before the cow. He then turned to milk the cow herself. The
mamma at first opened enormous eyes at her beloved infant; by degrees she
stooped her head towards it, then smelt at it, sneezed three or four
times, and at last proceeded to lick it with the most delightful
tenderness. This spectacle grated against our sensibilities: it seemed to
us that he who first invented this parody upon one of the most touching
incidents in nature must have been a man without a heart. A somewhat
burlesque circumstance occurred one day, to modify the indignation with
which this treachery inspired us. By dint of caressing and licking her
little calf, the tender parent one fine morning unripped it: the hay
issued from within; and the cow, manifesting not the slightest surprise
nor agitation, proceeded tranquilly to devour the unexpected provender."

The Highlanders used this contrivance, and called it a "Tulchan": hence
King James's bishops were nicknamed "Tulchan bishops," to imply that they
were officials of straw, merely set up as a means of milking the Scotch
people of their money, in the form of